Past relationships are something that despite our decision to sometimes block them out, have pinned their presence in our memory. Books, films, and even a television series on the TV Land network are dedicated to answer this question of “What if?” in regards to a retro romance. Prior to exploring the answer to that question in terms of your ex girlfriend, it’s important to ponder these points.
What caused your breakup?
Think back to why you broke up in the first place, before even making motions to reconcile and reconnect with her. If the breakup was a mutual decision caused by being too busy in your respective lives at the time, getting back together may be a much needed second chance at romance for both of you. It’s more difficult to date when infidelity, a bad habit such as gambling, or a general breakdown of shared trust was the source of your split.
How much time has passed since your relationship?
Strangely enough, the more time that’s passed since calling it quits works to your advantage here because it gives more time for old wounds and hard feelings to heal between you and her. Of course the risk as more time passes is that either you or her will find someone new, which for the interim invalidates any intimate renaissance between the two of you.
How have each of you changed since the breakup?
This issue is most important if a habit such as alcoholism, gambling, or sloppiness caused the failure of your relationship. Thinking and analyzing how you think you’ve changed since then and observing how she’s changed will help you make a more educated decision if the opportunity arrives for that second chance.
What will be different if you were to get back together?
Once you’ve come to conclusions on the questions above, the final step is to determine what positive changes will separate this time from the first time you two were together. If one or both of you have changed, it’ll make your decision about dating again much easier. Again ask yourself this question before you do decide to dive back into a relationship with any ex girlfriend, because as it’s commonly said, exes are exes for a reason.
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