When I first read this quote what popped into my mind was one word “yes”. This quote is so simple yet cuts to the heart of many relationships issues. Honesty and truth is the only sturdy foundation to base a relationship of any kind on. Whether you are talking about a relationship between a friend, family, or spouse if it is based on lies and deceit it will never be a good relationship.
“Honesty is the highest form of intimacy.”
-Lisa M. Hayes
In a relationship if there is constant lies being told or secrets being kept it puts a strain on everyone involved. A strain is put on the liar for having to keep a made up story straight, as well as a strain on the one being lied to who knows something isn’t right. When there is even a flick of doubt in a relationship (even the smallest of doubts) an instant sadness and despair is injected into the love that once was. Even a small lie such as “no I didn’t eat those cookies” with crumbs dripping from their face and clothes they lie with such meaning and vehemence. You know they are lying, you feel it, you see it, you just know it. They never admit to stealing the cookies but the next time they’re missing, deep down you start to think it must be them…they did it before.
In telling the truth and being honest with yourself and whoever you are in a relationship with will enable you to have a true unadulterated form of intimacy. When we are honest with ourselves and each other we can be ourselves, you don’t have to worry about what others think because they already know who you really are. The only reason to lie or hide the truth is because we are ashamed of our actions, and what the consequences will be.
Personally I have been in relationships full of lies and I have been in relationships full of love and honesty. In all truth looking back I always wonder why I thought these relationships were so good. I knew I was being lied to, even if I didn’t have evidence I just knew. In the end the truth was revealed and the relationship ended. Those were hard relationships that left me emotionally drained and depressed, just as I was throughout the relationship. Now I’m in an honest relationship and to be honest I believe it’s the first I have ever had. It’s easy to lie, it’s hard to admit the truth and be honest, but in the end it feels so much better. With telling each other what happens, what we think, and being honest we can truly learn about each other and grow together. Honesty lets love bloom like the sun on a flower, and lies wilt love like a rose in the desert heat.