“Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn.”
All too often in life we think that our shoulder to cry on will always be there no matter what, but there always comes a breaking point. It is not wrong for your moral support to finally give in and succumb to not helping you anymore, it happens to everyone. A person can only care so much. Many times I have been in this situation where someone depends on me for such moral support that I just can’t do it anymore and I break. I have also been the one leaning on a supporter so much they break. We all do it and it’s normal.
Each and every relationship whether it be with family, friends, or spouses has its own level of moral support. Finding the perfect balance between friend and foe can be hard but with time and understanding you can have a completely stable relationship with moral support. The reason each relationship is different is because every person is different. We all think, feel, and act in different ways. A family member can sometimes be more supportive than a close friend or vice a versa depending on the people involved. Yet no matter how long or supportive a relationship has been in the past it is easy to over step your bounds and push them to a point of not caring anymore. Now when I say not caring anymore that doesn’t mean they hate you and never want to see or hear from you again. Not caring is when they become so fed up with trying to make you feel better that they can’t help themselves. Not caring comes when all their efforts of trying to cheer you up have failed and all that is left is the sad despair you were trying so hard to leave behind.
When someone constantly hears something over and over again it becomes implanted in their head and more often than not becomes the truth or at least feels like the truth. If you are constantly around hate and anger no matter how hard you try you will become filled with hate and anger. What this quote is trying to say is it is ok to depend on people. It’s ok to have someone to vent to. It’s not ok to drag your support down with you. If you want support from someone and you constantly say “I’m ugly no one loves me!” Your supporter will tell you “No you’re not ugly! I think you’re gorgeous! You have a great personality!” and on and on with the supportive comments. Yet all you can keeps saying is “yeah right” and “you must be blind”. Eventually your support is going to get tired of trying. Tired of being told that what they’re thinking is wrong. Tired of being told they are wrong, unknowing, and stupid. Your support is eventually going to give in and say “fine you know what you’re right! I give up! I’m outta here!” You see when we constantly look to someone for support and guidance we are asking them for their experience and wisdom. If time and time again we tell our support and wisdom that they are stupid and know nothing they are going to start to believe it.
Think about it for a minute. Why do we feel so lost in despair and look for someone to support us?
- We had a bad day at work where we feel unappreciated.
- Someone made a rude comment about the way you acted, talked, or dressed.
- A person stared at you and you felt that they were being critical.
- You feel ugly, fat, or unwanted.
- You’re sick.
- You have a physical injury.
The list can go on and on. Whether we are complaining about something big or something small it doesn’t matter. Think about it. Would you want to hang out with someone who was constantly gripping about not getting paid enough, and no one liking them, how the world is against them? Over time you get tired of trying to cheer that person up, because you realize that the more you try the more they fight you and the more you become like them…angry and depressed. I’m not saying we should never vent to anyone, because that’s just not healthy. What I’m saying is its ok to have moral support but that we shouldn’t take it for granted. The person supporting us is only human too we can’t expect them to be gods that can deflect anything. They are people with emotions and feelings who need moral support as well. Relationships should be give and give. Don’t just look to someone for moral support look for someone to be each other’s moral support. We are stronger together than by ourselves. Find the cozy medium. Learn to vent and listen to what your supporter is saying. Then trade places. Remember it’s ok to be angry, sad, or upset it’s not ok to make everyone around you feel the same when all they are trying to do is cheer you up.