“Oh, the comfort- the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person- having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
-Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859
This is such a beautiful quote about relationships. This quote is talking about the comfort stage of a relationship. The comfort stage is when the chemicals in your brain calm down and you start to enjoy the ease of being together. Though the first part of a relationship is always fun and new, this second long lasting part of a relationship is where the beauty forms.
Once you reach the comfort zone in a relationship you start to act more like yourself. You aren’t constantly worrying about how you look, what you’re saying, or even how you’re acting. At this point you pretty much have secured your mate and have adapted yourselves to living or being with each other all or most of the time. It’s the same concept of starting a new job. At first it’s new, fresh, exciting, and nerve racking, but after a few months it’s just another day at the office. The job becomes routine. Not unlike relationships. They start out fun and become comfortable with routines and consistency.
Now relationships aren’t all about becoming routine and comfortable, there is more to it than that. Once a relationship reaches the mature stage of being comfortable, you start to depend on your spouse. Becoming dependent of your spouse is not a bad thing, as long as you aren’t depending on them for every little thing. A healthy people in relationships depend on each other is:
- Having the ease of knowing someone is there. Whether it’s feeling safe knowing someone else is in the house, or just knowing that someone will always be there when you get home.
- Having someone to rely on. Relying on your spouse could be just having someone to talk to face to face any time of the day. Having someone who can run an errand for you when you don’t have the time.
- Helps you heal faster. Holding your spouses hand in a time of pain can help them heal faster than holding any other persons hand in the world. The connection between you and your spouse is linked through your brain chemistry and compassion for them.
There are many beneficial and beautiful sides to a relationship. Sometimes we just need someone else to point the facts out before we realize we have something great right in front of us. If you have been in a relationship for a long time look at the beauty of your relationship, and it might give you a refreshed feel about your love.