How important is sex in a relationship?
Is sexual tension a problem with many couples due to all the diverse relationship information & opinions discussed today? Are we confused as to what a normal sex life is? Let’s talk about what should be happening to make your sex life compatible regardless of whether you are in a new or long term relationship.
What is the average amount of time you should spend between the sheets on a weekly basis?
This answer varies on numerous conditions such as work/children schedules, careers that involve travel, medical issues, long distance romances & sexual libido of the couple involved. To maintain a healthy relationship, sex 2-3 times a week is preferred but the average answer is 1-2 times per week after more than 5 years together. (Talking to a therapist is always a good idea when you are feeling overwhelmed in this area of your life.)
Regardless of how little or how often you are having sex, quality is always better than quantity for many “women” in the partnership. If you are constantly “guilting out” your partner to have sex, it probably won’t be long before the relationship has major problems ~ sex should never feel like a chore for either person involved.
- Kiss passionately at least once every day in your relationship! (Pecks on the cheek don’t count!)
- Don’t forget to date your partner. Too many people are ignoring courtship & it is becoming a lost art.
- Hold hands when you walk down the street or at a restaurant table.
- Make the effort to look sexy even at home
- Compliment each other regularly.
- Tease them with sensuous emails or texts during the day.
- Always leave special notes for them a few times a week ~ be creative.
- Don’t become lazy in your relationship in any context.
What happens if the Sexual Compatibility just never really gets off to a great start but you really like them, will it eventually end?
This is a great question and one that leaves many relationships in sexual limbo. “Am I settling” is something many people ask themselves when they feel like they are more of a friend than a lover with their partner. A loving relationship requires both ~ we often feel one but not the other. Companionship is wonderful but does not fulfill all our needs. It is important to know the difference before you decide to make a long term commitment. Many people say they fell out of love with their partner when in reality they were never in love with them. It is easy to really like someone.
What if you are opposite personalities?
Opposites may attract but they seldom stay together once the initial interest wears off. Sexual compatibility can be very exciting in these situations because it forces you to experiment outside your usual comfort zone. Relationships are difficult enough without having so many differences. Occasionally it works very well & the relationship endures, but for the most part it becomes too much work trying to understand each other’s needs & differences and fizzles out.
How do you know on those first few dates whether there is a sexual chemistry and if you may be compatible in the bedroom??
- You are both open with one another ~ emotional conversation is shared easily.
- You make each other feel at ease.
- There is a flirtatious & relaxed body language shared between you.
- There is an electrical current you can actually feel when they kiss you
- You can’t wait until you see them again.
- You love their smell!
- You want them across the room even when you are not touching.
- You feel a stirring in your loins just talking to them.
How important is it to have the same sexual interests?
Sexual desires are better when both people are on the same wave length or it may scare off new partners. If you have unique sexual tastes you may want to join a fetish club & find a potential partner that also enjoys this. It is important not to expect everyone to have your same interests. Don’t go into a relationship thinking you can change their sexual thinking. Experimenting is great but it is always best to talk about boundaries when you are "outside" the bedroom.
Oral sex is an important part of sex to many people but there are some who do not like it or just don’t like reciprocating. The same thing can be said for pornography or role playing ~ it isn’t not for everyone. That is not to say that you shouldn’t experiment but no one should be made to feel forced or uncomfortable in a sexual scenario. You want your partner “present” and not holding their breath until the session is over or participating just to please you.
Sexually enjoyment is best when both people are excited to be there.
Let‘s face it, sexual chemistry is the glue that holds you together with someone. How many times have you heard married couples say that they sleep in separate beds? Rather than try to find the spark again, they allow themselves to become complacent in a platonic environment. On the other side of the coin, there are numerous older couples who have been married for many happy years who talk openly about their active sex life that has kept them “in love” forever. They will tell you sex was an important part of their union & what made them celebrate that Golden Wedding Anniversary.
Sex puts that little spring in your step that lasts the whole day so why would you not want it to be a permanent part of your life? Sex becomes obsolete when there is an emotional disconnection in a partnership. Yes, we can all argue that some of our best sexual encounters were spontaneous and relationship-free, but for the most part sex is best when you are “in love and emotionally connected.” Communication in all aspects of a relationship is the bottom line. It is the key to life in general but sexually speaking, it is the main ingredient to a fulfilling & long term love-life.
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers