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Rejection - It's a Matter of Perspective

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As social creatures, most of us readily admit that we want to be liked and accepted. But popularity and romance come with risks, with rejection possibly being the most hurtful. Even the most famous among us have experienced the heartache, like Beethoven whose music teacher declared him ‘hopeless’ at composing or Albert Einstein whose parents feared he was sub-normal.

Rejection is when you’re passed over for a promotion or you’re not chosen for the starring role in a play. But the most painful is the rejection that comes in the dating scene or romantic situations. From the heartache of an unfaithful partner or the break-up of a long term relationship to a spouse forgetting an anniversary or birthday, how you react to rejection is influenced by childhood experiences and relationships. When someone breaks up with you or never calls after a first or second date, he is rejecting you as a person, not your job, not your art, just you and that hurts.

The more you’ve been let down, disappointed or shunned by others the harder it may be to handle rejection. If you see yourself as a victim, even the slightest, benign infraction by someone can be perceived as rejection, even when it’s not.

Looking to explain away or excuse the behavior of your rejecter will only postpone the healing process that must include realistically facing the situation. If you’re unable or unwilling to put it behind you, it will be the reason you can’t move on.

The only way to weather the storm of rejection is by learning to put things into perspective. The ability to see the bigger picture and focus on the positive aspects of your life will help move you to a place where you aren’t looking for someone to blame. By acknowledging those traits about you that are good, you will build confidence and be able to cope better with rejection. You will worry less about what others think, learn more about yourself and be stronger for the experience.

Some important points to remember when dealing with rejection:

    * You’ll get over it!
    * Anger and depression are normal reactions that will pass with time.
    * Your personal value is not dependent on acceptance. Being rejected is not a factor in your worth.
    * Anything is possible. Avoid using the terms 'always' or 'never'. Keep it positive. 
    * No matter how much you like him or her, you can't make a person love you.
    * Don’t dwell on the situation. Get busy; be productive.
    * Connect with people who value you, do something which you have put off for months or do 
       something which makes you look and feel fabulous.

* More Info: Whether you're experienced with online dating-- or new to the internet singles scene, find everything you need to choose the best online dating services at DateShowcase.com. Follow me on Twitter or you can get notice of new articles on the home page at this site by subscribing by entering your email address. You are also invited to read my relationship blog, LoveIndoors.com.

Comments

  • Crabby 4 years ago

    Crabby has been rejected a bunch. It seems like we've been focusing on rejection lately (I know the most popular Crabby column this month was on rejection). You must reject the rejection and accept acceptance. This may come up in a Boomer topic Saturday night.. Hmmmm, are you letting the cat out of the bag for Boomers??