In the news this last week, I saw adoptive parents being misunderstood in their decision to rehome their eleven year old daughter. As a parent, who has rehomed her son, I can share from personal experience that this decision is tough to make. Many factors have to be taken into account before a wise decision is made.
First, all avenues have to be explored. Does the child have an underlined mental health problem that makes parenting difficult(ie. Reactive Attachment Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder,etc)? Has your family went to counseling to explore the reasons the child is having difficulties being successful in your home? When children have Reactive Attachment Disorder they need to go to an Attachment Based Therapist that has been trained extensively.
Secondly, is there any family members or family friends who would be willing to take your child, instead of a stranger to the child? We were fortunate. After our son was kicked out of a residential facility, we had a family member who was willing to take our son.
Lastly, if someone is not available to rehome your child, do your homework to check out any perspective family who your family would rehome your child to. Do police checks, talk to local child welfare agencies, and check the internet for facebook entries, criminal checks, etc. Also, ask for references from the family you are considering. If they are community members, they should be able to come up with many people off the "top of their head". If they live close, stop by and talk to them. Make sure this is a good fit!
Sometimes adopted children are not a good fit for families. Understanding this can be help the child be successful in another family. I know of many, many examples of successful rehoming and this can work!