In a society so focused on being "green" it makes sense that exes, along with newspapers and aluminum cans, should be recycled. I've known women who've had "recycle your ex" parties, however those rarely work. Most women always fill the party with guys they knew they would be dumping as soon as winter was over and it was warm enough to jump into their shortest shorts and meet new guys. Everybody has their backburner ex or the ex who got away, and those exes are usually awesome and no one is ever, ever allowed to have them.
So if we know we're stingy and selfish when it comes to our exes, shouldn't we keep the recycling to ourselves? Last night at an LA press junket for their upcoming thriller "Scream 4," Courteney Cox and David Arquette, who announced their separation in October 2010 after 11 years of marriage, were seen flirting and holding hands which sparked rumors of a reconciliation between the two.
I've always been an advocate for giving exes another shot. Most people think "Why?" I dumped this person for a reason so why would I want to deal with them again. The reality is a lot of people change after you open their eyes to the reasons they failed in your relationship. When we see the person we just dumped suddenly in a new relationship sometimes it's because they've found someone who was actually willing to put up with their faults, but sometimes it's because they worked on making the changes we suggested to them and became a better partner. The latter reason is why more people should go green and start recycling their exes. If you do decide to have your past in your future, there are 3 rules that you should absolutely follow.
- Date like new - The easiest pitfall one can make when dating an ex is picking up where the relationship left off. Go on a first date, a second date, and more and don't start sleeping together or living together right away. It will immediately become too comfortable, too familiar and therefore too easy, and you will likely end up breaking up shortly after.
- Bring up the past - Trying to bury the past and moving forward is unrealistic. If past issues have the potential to still cause problems, they have to be resolved. However, tread carefully. Bringing up every past indiscretion, fault, or problem can be pedantic. Use the past to work on the future, not to prove who was right or wrong in the past.
- Show your sex skills - You may have learned a thing or two or seven in the bedroom since you last dated your ex which will make you unrecognizable to them under the sheets, but don't be afraid to break them out. Of course they may question where and how you learned these new tricks, but they'll get over it once they realize it's all about them now.
For additional relationship advice tips and rules, check out my site The Talk of Shame.
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