These are terms that you have probably heard elsewhere as well, and frequently as tools for becoming part of the resolution! Phrases just help to identify ideas we can experiment with. Nothing is written in stone - but might be handy to have just a click away.
We already have a good way to group our vocabulary; we'll just use the VAK learning styles.
- The I-Message - "I feel bad, uncertain, hurt when..." or "It is not easy for me when you..."...purpose: to keep defensive responses to a minimum and content close to your genuine emotional message. Anger can mask a lot of other feelings.
- "I know what you mean!" - validation and a life-saver when your about to be talked to death! Feel free to re-word the statement once you've experienced the benefit of it! If you are genuine, it will MORE than do.
- Active listening - Postponing what you expect your partner to say and practice hearing the specific words and emphasis they are really using. It's a challenge. Allow yourself plenty of practice...purpose: to clear out pre-conceived notions of each other that tend to keep conflict going in circles. And benefits from a...
- Two-Week Reflection - A period of time for defenses and anger to die down...purpose: to allow often external, unrelated issues and distractions to drain away from the heart of the matter and clarify the message there for you to...
- Decode - Understanding the intent of the exchange...purpose: to identify the needs of your partner, the real bottom line, and choose the actions that will show you want to meet them.
The Kinetic Winners are abundant and are actions that tie together any and all ideas and strategies. Important glue to our foundation to dedicate a few extra lines to. Look for the conclusion of the 2010 Conflict Resolution Glossary up next and let's keep being part of the Resolution! Then it will be time to take new skills out the door and into new territory! firstname.lastname@example.org if you have something you'd like to see added to our glossary!.