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Reasons why finding Mr. or Ms. Right is difficult

Finding "The One" might be difficult, but once you find her or him, the search is all worth it in the end ... Growing old together.
Finding "The One" might be difficult, but once you find her or him, the search is all worth it in the end ... Growing old together.
Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Everyone wants to find the right partner in life; who wants to grow old alone. Sadly, some will never find their right partner leaving them pessimistic about the entire idea of finding Mr. or Ms. Right. Why, some may ask, is it hard for someone to find their right life partner? The reasons could be simple yet complex. But the most obvious reason why finding Mr. or Ms. Right is difficult is because Mr. or Ms. Wrong is in the way.

As common sense dictates, one will never purchase a new car if there was a huge ding on the door. Well, it is the same with relationships. Why would anyone settle for the "wrong" partner? If daters would put the same effort into finding a mate like they do searching for a car, the "right" partner would be easier to find. When making space for anything new in life, one is consciously recognizing and deciding what they want. Making room in life for something different helps individuals achieve their wants and needs. This concept not only applies to wants and needs but also to relationships and love interests. So, to make room for the right partner, first get rid of the wrong partner.

Too often people talk about wanting to find the right person but are constantly in and out of relationships with the wrong person. Face it; Mr. or Ms. Right will never come along while you are involved with Mr. or Ms. Wrong. There is just no room for the "right" one as long as the "wrong" one is occupying heart and mind space. If indeed one is committed to finding "the one," he or she must first let go of "the wrong one."

Many people tend to remain with someone because of children, emotional attachment, and financial dependence instead of love. This is dysfunctional because it usually leads to emotional damage. Yet, most people are afraid to end an unhealthy relationship because they fear being alone or lonely. Oftentimes people confuse the two. Loneliness is a state of mind usually rooted in one's insecurities. Aloneness is simply a state of being that someone chooses. Once one learns how to recognize the difference, he or she would be comfortable alone or in company.

Another reason many people have difficulties finding Mr. or Ms. Right is buying into the idea of "you complete me." Well, "you complete you." Too many feel that they are somehow incomplete and that "a person" will complete them. But only when someone feels whole is when he or she is at a comfortable place to love and not escape into the idea of love. Another person can never make you whole or complete. The simple reality of life is that you must love within.

There are several reasons why finding Mr. or Ms. Right is difficult. But if anyone wants a chance at finding their life partner, they must rid themselves of Mr. and Ms. Wrong, recognize their insecurities and love within.

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