When I think of bowling, I think, Roy Munson, Walter Sobchak, cigarette smoke, beer, mullets, and "why the hell am I thinking about bowling?" What I don't think about when I think of bowling are Real Housewives, fake presidents, and Steve Guttenberg (even though his last name does kind of sound like "Gutter Ball"), yet they were all recently together at Lucky Strike Lanes in New York City.
In attendance were RHONY's Ramona Singer (wearing rented shoes?) with her husband Mario who, at 60, looks like a younger Charlie Sheen (sorry Charlie); fellow Housewife Countess LuAnn de Lesseps with boyfriend Jacques Azoulay (Oui,Oui, my shoes are by Gucci); and other celebrities including Steve Guttenberg and America's favorite middle child, Eve Plumb (Jan Brady on the Brady Bunch), guess Marcia-Marcia-Marcia was busy.
Emceeing the event was Bill Pullman (aka President Whitmore). He was feeling a bit under the weather so he didn't bowl, but did cough into his own hand and promptly shake mine (ugh!).
The biggest celebrity (no pun intended) in attendance was Oscar nominee Gabourey Sidibe (Precious). Displaying her usual sense of humor, she kept is classy with her hand version of a 7-10 split by executing a dual one-finger salute to the crowd as she was introduced by Pullman.
This well organized event was one of the best I have ever attended (and I have very strict criteria: Free buckets of beer and never-ending food. Lanes were sponsored by some well dressed rich Wall Street dudes and Guests received unearned trophies, just like kindergarten tee ball, reminding us we were all winners that night.
I had the pleasure of co captaining our team with Olympic Silver Medalist (should have been gold) Figure Skater Sasha Cohen, that was comprised of a professional modern dance group. Needless to say, we had the distinct honor of being the worst team in the bunch. Sasha definitely won't be trading in her skates and sequins for Velcro shoes and a Pabst Blue Ribbon bowling shirt any time soon. Her score of 53 was a reminder that you can't be great at everything. Romana Singer threw a few goose eggs (zeros) before giving up and handing her ball over to husband Mario. Thankfully, everyone was equally awful at bowling, but really good at having fun for a great cause.
The alleys: "Ah, the alleys -- It's really a sensory experience, you know. The scent of Aqua Net on a beehive hairdo. The roar of polyester rubbing against old Naugahyde. The site of a cigarette stubbed out on a patty melt. All this plus the anticipation of placing your feet in shoes only seven thousand others have worn before you." - Diane Chambers (Cheers)