Why are so many men such lousy kissers?
I was talking to a female friend of mine and she lamented about one of her most recent dates. He was decently cute, pretty good at conversation and they had some common interests. She was slowly getting physically attracted to him, and with this woman that would be a VERY good thing for Sir Lancelot…
And then he blew it on the first kiss. It was mostly unexpected, way too hard and he immediately grabbed her head with his hands and started thrusting his tongue in and out of her mouth like it was his…
Anyway, it not only completely caught her off guard, but she about puked in his mouth over it. Let’s just say that it was a total and complete turn off for her and she knew right then and there that there wasn’t going to be any more thrusting of any kind in his future!
So guys, give a woman a chance to warm up. There are resources online to teach you how to kiss. I don’t care HOW good you think you are, a little refresher course can never hurt. The idea of a great kiss is to want to make her want MORE physical contact. Start slowly, build up gradually (over several minutes, not seconds!) and only then should you insert your tongue. Watch for her body language. If she’s getting turned on you’ll definitely know! If you can’t tell, she’s NOT.
And one more thing she shared; she doesn’t care if you’re just getting to know each other, or have been in a relationship – in the middle of a kiss don’t go dive-bombing her crotch with your fingers without warning! Most women HATE being groped unexpectedly, especially early in the relationship although many don’t like it at all without some time to warm up and get aroused. If you dive for her clit through her jeans you’re not doing it for HER, you’re doing it for you and she’ll know the difference. Slowly caressing her body and gently working your hands ever closer to The Promised Land is one thing. Grabbing her like she was a bowling ball is NOT sexy…
So you’re out on a date, and things are progressing nicely. Your first tentative kisses have been well received and she hasn’t slapped you. Good job so far! Once she is encouraging you to kiss deeper, don’t ever thrust your tongue into her mouth. There will be times for this later and hopefully it won’t be your tongue. You can’t get her into bed with your kisses, but you can sure keep her out of it! Learn how to kiss slowly to heat her up quickly. You’ll be glad you did.
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