I have been asked many times how to raise good kids because my kids turned out well. My first response is to put the blame on my kids. I say I was blessed with good kids who made it easy to raise them to be good adults. However, there are other things I did to get children who are good adults.
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Language – It can be cute the first time your two-year-old drops a block and says a word that makes a nun blush. However, it's no longer cute when they're still repeating it at eight years old. I'm not saying a parent can never swear again. That would make me a hypocrite. But when you use it at inappropriate times, your child will, too.
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I'm sorry – When you say or do something wrong, apologize to your child. By the time your child is old enough to know you're infallible, they'll know you're strong enough to admit it. They'll respect you in the end.
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I was wrong – Saying you're wrong is different from apologizing. Admitting guilt and wanting forgiveness are not the same thing. When you give your child bad information, ie, the movie they wanted to see started at 7, not 8, or when you find out a sibling was the real culprit, don't be afraid to say, “I was wrong.” You will teach your child the difference between acknowledging a wrong and apologizing.
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Respect – If you do not have respect for yourself or for others, how will your child learn it? A parent also has to have respect for their child. However, just like trust, your child will have to earn your respect.
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Make Time – There are DVRS, VCRS, and online on-demand available. Skip your show and spend time with your child. Quality time over quantity time should only be a starting point. The more time you can spend with your child, the better.
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Listen – When your child speaks, listen. If they're telling you the same thing over and over, there's something about it they need you to know. Learn your child so you can hear what they aren't saying also. If you can't take the time to listen to what your child is saying, then how can they learn to listen to you?
This list doesn't guarantee your child will a good adult, but it will give them the foundation to build a life in that direction.
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