Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.
~Robert A. Heinlein~
When there is a problem with your kids...behavior...sibling rivalry...or otherwise... make them do more thinking than you do! When you are ready to swoop in and offer suggestions as to what your children need to do, ask yourself, "Whose problem is it?"
We are so quick to rush in and "solve" problems for our kids that we often do not allow our children the benefit of figuring out how to handle conflict, or how to make things right once they have misbehaved.
So, the next time you hear your kids arguing over a game, fighting over who sits in the front seat, who gets the first piece of cake, or any other of the gazillions of things that kids find to bicker about...don't be so quick to rush in and make it all better, or to try to keep the peace.
Ask your kids, "What do you think you should do about this?"
If their ideas are not acceptable to you, ask how they think things would turn out if they proceeded in that manner. Ask if there are any other alternatives. What do they think would work best? Wish them the best as they try out the new behavior.
Raising a thinking child ups their social-emotional quotient (EQ), which is far more important than their IQ. It assists in their ability to think things through and solve problems when you are NOT around. Isn't that what it's all about?
They'll thank you for it later...REALLY!
Comments
I'm with you. It's all about helping them think for themselves and consider their choices. Great article!
What a timely article!! I feel so strong that it's such a fine line between supporting and overdoing for some of us parents!
I have to say that I am regularly tempted to solve things "myself" quickly as opposed to giving my daughter the opportunity to feel empowered by finding a solution on her own.
I continually remind myself that I am raising her to be a strong, independent human being.. and for that, she needs to make her own choices and experience the consequences!
Thanks for such an insightful article!
Hi Melissa and Sandra! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Happy parenting!
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