The obsession with and rumors surrounding Tiger and his wife, Elin Nordegren Woods, are not a typical challenge for most couples. Our errant golf clubs are seldom seen beyond the front door and we are afforded more space to deal with our relationship when it is in crisis. Scrutiny is a price that comes with celebrity status; but the nuances of this particular obsession have Modern Love convinced that racism is partly to blame.
For months, I’ve written this column, exploring ways to bring more consciousness into our relationships, deepen our sexual connections with our beloved, and become better partners, parents, and citizens. Tiger Woods is not the first celebrity to garner my attention; I’ve oft written of a well-known figure if their experience and circumstances can advance the message of Modern Love (enhance intimacy, bring sacredness into the bedroom, challenge our assumptions about the opposite sex and courtship, you know, run of the mill love stuff). They are, however, the first interracial couple who I've written about, although the slideshow below shows that there are many others in the spotlight.
It's a race thing
But the comments on this, and other columns, from thousands of readers clearly show that a different nerve has been strung. While most have been respectful in their scope and criticism, it probably comes as no surprise to other interracial couples that there are bigots out there who don’t want you to love someone whose skin doesn’t match your own. (For examples, read here)
Can Modern Love point the finger to anyone group? Not really, but some comments – the likes of which would normally be deleted in a heartbeat as they are in direct opposition to the standards I’m trying to set – have been left for readers to decide for themselves. My suspicion is that the ugly underbelly of racism is alive and in all neighborhoods; it isn’t coming from just one community against another. Based on immediate gut instincts, some are from people of color, some from people of paler color. The worse, the vilest of them have called the children ‘mongrels,’ and the women – either Mrs. Woods or Ms. Uchitel - ‘whores.’ These are not my words, nor my opinion. I repeat in order to highlight my point.
The achievements within the black community, the contributions to the world of business, education, entertainment and science are numerous and aren’t necessary for me to fully document in order to make this point. We’ve finally elected a president of mixed race; we’ve finally recognized talented actors and actresses of color for their cinematic achievements; we’ve finally seen Tiger himself bust through the billion dollar income mark to be the highest earning golfer of all times.
When are we finally going to allow love to flourish, where it may, behind private doors and away from hateful eyes, between two people regardless, or in spite of, the beauty of their contrasting skin?
Time will tell
We may have to be patient. It's only been four decades since the US Supreme Court knocked down a Virginia ban against whites marrying non-whites, and in so doing, derailed 15 additional state bans against inter-racial marriages. Since that historic 1967 ruling and according to the US census bureau, interracial marriages have increased to over 400,000 in 2005, and now make up 7% of all unions. Still not a lot, but indicative of a growing recognition that love crosses boundaries (to the chagrin of hatemongers).
Tiger and Elin aren't the only famous interracial couple in the public eye, and given the cloud of innuendo, rumor and concern hovering over them right now, Modern Love is certain that we have a long way to go before our culture gives a blind eye. Who knows, maybe we'll have to become blind before race no longer matters and we only see Modern Love.
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All Modern Love Examiner articles ©2009 by Tinamarie Bernard; reposts permitted with link back to original article. All other rights reserved.
Comments
I see the racist overtones you identify in some recent commentary now that the identity of the mistress is revealed. There's a collection of what appear to be "relieved White boys" who are coming out to proclaim Jack Nicholson or Arnold Palmer is the greatest golfer ever ha ha! It looks like they were uneasy all along with this Black "superman" stealing the thunder of their White male heroes and they're relieved to find out he's not that super. Oh TM I hope I'm wrong--I hope it has absolutely nothing to do with Tiger's African ancestry or brown skin or young White wife. But in light of the violent death of Emmett Till in the mid 20th century, it would be intellectually irresponsible to disregard the American anxiety with Black male/White female couplings.
Hi Victor,
I wish it wasn't true, but obviously I wrote the piece so I beleive there is at least cirumstantial evidence to suggest that racism is part of the allure of this story. And it isn't just 'white males'who have a problem. I think racism crosses boundaries and the train tracks, so to speak. It lives next door to all of us, and if we are honest, within each of us to a degree. The difference between a racist and someone who isn't may simply be that the latter identifies, and examines those falsehoods, and actively tries to extinguish them when they come up.
As always, your comments are thoughtful. T
It never ceases to amaze me how white males continue to pretend at not being racist, when it's so patently obvious they are--having to go home to overweight, boring wives, trying to convince themselves they're "better off this way"--while white males in media cover for his side-booty action...i just love it,the sheer hypocracy of it all--jealously will eat you alive from the inside--if all Tigersluts were non-white, they wouldn't bat an eye.BTW not ONE Tigerslut was "forced"--they testify to loving every second of being w/ him, his "bedroom skills" moments of a liftime for each of them, before they hook some rich sugar-daddy...
Yes yes it all comes down to the evil white man again or boy as KR says well. I am a white male unfortunatly I did not have a choice in being born into a race of largely self abusive fems. However, I did make a choice on the next generation and married a beautiful brown Hispanic lady. We have five children so far three have recieved minority scholarships, thankyou white femmy liberals for paying for my childrens education from your tax dollars, HA Ha ha the only thing funnier is knowing that your mommas also payed for my childrens education. I do not know why tiger thinks white woman are all that. I will take my HIspanic honey any day of the week. A woman whos skin burns up after ten minuetes outside is not attractive to me. and I do not need to cheet either. My oldest two have married Hispanic thank God and are not a part of aAmericas black and white nonsence. My state has a Hispanic majority soon and is better for it.
oops victor likes to call whites boys not KR
successful blackmen are racist to themselves also
by choosing blond wife or white women because they think
it is better to be white
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