“Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!”
“Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.
1. You're wearing that?
2. Something smells funny.
3. Where's the Tylenol?
4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.
5. I have a confession to make…
6. My dad has a suit just like that.
7. That man is hot. Look at him.
8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…
9. You're going to order that? Seriously?
10. You're how old?”
“After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.”
“Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”
“Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.”
“Flowers wilt, jewelry tarnishes, and candles burn out...but chocolate doesn't hang around long enough to get old.”
-Sr. Cocoa Loca
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”