Hi Ali,
I am 23 years old and have been dating a guy that I met at a party a little over two months. We began texting the night we met, then went out the next day and have literally spent every day together since. He is already talking about us moving in together and possibly getting married in the next year. He is wonderful and I am feeling so in love, but Im worried that this is all moving too fast. Plus, Ive barely seen or spoken to my friends or family since we have started dating, and when I talk to him about spending some more time with them, he kind of whines and says he doesnt want to share me. A couple of times he has convinced me to stay home from work so we can spend some extra time together. It feels so good that he loves me so much, but he is making me worried. My friends say this is weird and he is being too controlling with me. Is he? Are we just really in love?
Sincerely,
Too Much Togetherness ?
Dear Too Much,
There might be some truth in your friend's concern. In my experience, relationships with this kind of intensity in the beginning might be a sign of some red flags that you should be aware of. Your partners unwillingness to "share" you, is concerning because even though you are now in a relationship you should not have to let go of your own personal relationships, job or time to yourself. Though this flavor of relationship might feel amazing in the beginning it is hard to sustain, unless you are willing to let go of of your individual wants and needs, which honestly would not be healthy for your relationship or for you. Obession and Isolation ARE NOT love, though they can sometimes appear to be. Speak to your partner about your concerns, and see if he is willing to give you more space. If he disagrees it might be time to reevaluate your relationship.
Sincerely,
Ali
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