Question submitted via Formspring:
“Hi, I've been reading some of your posts, really interesting and encouraging, I kinda feel better and not that lost but I can't stop thinking about what I can do. The thing is that I'm one more person that doesn't know what to do with her life. I've just finished university but the career I studied, I don't precisely love it, I'm just okay with it. Anyway I've become interest in music, learn how to sing and play the guitar, start a band and try my luck but am I allow to dream that high? I mean I don't think I have special talents to sing, I also have to see reality right? what if what I want to do is out of my physical possibilities? what should I do? what if i was just not born with the talent some others have? This is my life, I'm always wanting things that I can't achieve cause I'm just talentless or I'm thinking the wrong way? I don't know how should I've being thinking about this, about wanting to do things in which I'm not good at, even if I try and try and try.... Thanks!”
Of all the articles I’ve ever written, “I don’t know what to do with my life…HELP” has always been my most popular; and not a week goes by that I don’t have someone ask me this very thing. We even talked about it at length on a recent episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters.
The key to creating anything to you want is to ask yourself a few simple questions:
First, what do you not want? What in your life would you most like to change, and what about your potential career seems the most unpleasant? Maybe you don’t want to work in an office all day, or maybe you don’t want to do any sales work. Maybe you don’t want to have to work for minimum wage, who knows. Take a piece of paper and write it all down.
And I do mean write it down. Understand that if you feel resistance towards doing this one small thing, and you let it stop you, then your chances of creating anything are almost zero. Decide right now that you are done flaking and letting yourself down; today is a new day.
Once you have figured out what you don’t want, then look at what you do want. To answer your specific question, what do you want to accomplish by becoming a musician? If you are old enough to have finished University, but don’t know how to sing or play an instrument, chances are music is not your bliss, and it’s just a way to escape the seemingly boring corporate life that lay ahead of you. So what is it that appeals to you about being in a band? Is it expressing yourself? Being in front of a crowd? Or just being ‘free’? As you make your list of things you do want, focus more on how you want to feel, rather than specific things.
There are several reasons why this is. First and foremost, focusing on feelings is the foundation of using the Law of Attraction. And even more important reason is you shouldn’t cling too tightly to any particular vision of the future. You may intend to be a famous musician, but God/The Universe may intend for you to be a famous song writer, actor, teacher, or anything else. Like Buddha said, attachment is the root of all suffering. You can miss out on blessings by focusing exclusively on how you believe things should be. While you need to have a vision for your life, your job is to focus on how you want to feel and WHY you want to feel that way. That way you can create what you are trying to be, do, or have, while leaving room to be surprised by what life has in store.
And finally: Make a plan and do it. Again, to answer your specific question, no you aren’t dreaming too big; it is impossible to dream too big. However, be clear on the fact that things take time. Consistency is the key. Do something, SOMETHING, every single day towards creating what you are trying to be, do, or have. You have the same 168 hours a week everyone else has, and with proper planning there really is time for everything. It may be doing online research, emailing experts, writing a single sentence, or practicing your skills for 5 minutes. If music is interesting, start practicing singing and playing every day right now. Whether or not you go pro, it will enjoy it, and feel better for it. Talent is important, but talent without hard work is meaningless; and someone who works hard consistently will beat someone who’s talented but lazy ten out of ten times!
I want to give you a challenge, and I tell you in advance it’s something most people will not take the time to do…but it’s also the exact reason most people fail to get results in their life! Take the time to write down your goals for the next few years: You need at least one 6 month goal, 1 year, 3 year, 5 year, 10 year, and 25 year goal. It might seem strange to be planning something so far out, but I can tell you for absolutely certain that if you are blessed to live that long the time will feel like it passed in an instant.
And the time will pass whether or not you make the most of it, so resolve now that you are drawing the line, and going to both live out of your intention and live into the life you are trying to create. Since you have a choice, the most important choice any person can make: At what point are you going to decide this is it? At what point are you going to decide you are going to be in control of your life, and make it your work create what you want to be, do, or have? You have to resolve to put 100% of your efforts into becoming who you want to be, or accept that you’re going to live your life on other people’s terms.
And if not now, when? And I leave you with one last thought:
“No beating yourself up. That’s not allowed. Be patient with yourself. It took you years to form the bad habits of thought that you no longer want. It will take a little time to form new and better ones. But I promise you this: Even a slight move in this direction will bring you some peace. The more effort you apply to it, the faster you’ll find your bliss, but you’ll experience rewards immediately.”
― Holly Mosier
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B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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