People are the most important part of healing from PTSD; however, they can also do more harm than good. The devastating effects of ignorance and insensitivity can take many forms resulting in what are called secondary wounding experiences.
Many PTSD survivors report that secondary wounding is often more painful and devastating than the original traumatic event. “Jane,” an anonymous PTSD survivor in Gig Harbor explains the danger of secondary wounding:
“Every time I managed to find the courage to share with someone what was happening with me, or drag myself into a church service, I would get slapped in the face. I just couldn’t believe some of the things I heard from people who supposedly loved and cared about me! Thank God, I took one more chance and trusted a woman who ultimately became my healing partner. She helped bring me back from the brink of suicide more than once. I can genuinely say that although people’s negative responses pushed me to consider suicide, just one person’s compassionate response saved me from it.”
Survivors with PTSD already struggle on a daily basis with numerous challenges to their self-esteem. Secondary wounding intensifies these challenges and their resulting emotional, physical and psychological symptoms.
Survivors respond to secondary wounding by going through an overwhelming increase in the following (just to name a few):
- Lowered self-esteem
- Hopelessness
- Helplessness
- Rage
- Depression
- Emotional numbing to the point of separating from their body (depersonalization)
- Deep disappointment
- Disgust with themselves
- A desire to retaliate
What does secondary wounding look like? Secondary wounding can be committed by anyone to whom the survivor turns to for assistance or reveals their PTSD struggle to, such as:
- People close to the survivor (friends, family, spouse, or children)
- Institutions (religious, legal, medical, or assistance related)
- Caregivers (mental health professionals, doctors, parents, healing partner, or teachers)
Secondary wounding occurs by responding negatively to the survivor’s account of the trauma, the magnitude of its aftereffects, the meaning to the survivor, or its impact on the survivor’s life in one of the following ways:
- Disbelief – doubting or distrusting
- Denial – refusing to believe
- Discounting – dismissing or minimizing through comparisons or out-right statements
- Blaming the survivor – on some level, suspecting the survivor deserved it
- Stigmatization – judging the survivor negatively for normal reactions to the trauma or long-term symptoms
- Denial of assistance – withholding necessary, expected services based on a personal or procedural judgment of the survivor’s need or lack of entitlement
While traveling along the path of PTSD healing, survivors not only will need people to help them, but also, they’ll have secondary wounding experiences to heal from as well. Want to learn more about how to help a friend or loved one create a healing team? Check out these resources:
- The Center for Hope and Renewal
- 8 Must Have Healing Team Professionals / Therapies
- Choosing a Strengths-Based Mental Health Professional
- Watch the video below!
Resource: Matsakis, A. (1996). I Can’t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors. 2nd Ed. CA:New Harbinger Press.
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