Proxy marriage, where others stand in as substitutes or "proxies" to enable a military member and a fiance' to marry while at a distance is not a generally well-known option for those stationed or living in Norfolk (or elsewhere) yearning to be married. But it is an option for those who can't be physically in the same place long enough to actually get married.
A proxy marriage would have been a 'let's-do-it option' for Nica and her active duty Navy fiance' assigned to a ship at Naval Station Norfolk had they known about it earlier this year. Instead, she sweated out the months of her high-risk pregnancy without prenatal care waiting for his return from deployment so they could marry and she would have the insurance coverage she needed for prenatal care of their child.
A proxy marriage would have made it possible for Nica to be entered into DEERS as his spouse while he was still deployed, enabling her to get the care she needed. They would have arranged a wedding ceremony for family and friends after his return.
Proxy military marriage
Some might jump to the conclusion that such marriages conducted "in absentia" are all about money and benefits and it might seem as such at face value. But consider how little is known these days about this option in marriage for military members and their fiances, particularly here in Norfolk, home to the largest naval base in the world.
If abusing the system and exploiting service members in marriage was that popular through proxy marriage, the media would have jumped all over it long ago. In reality, very little in the way of information about proxy marriage for military members has entered the mainstream.
For those considering taking the route of proxy military marriage, read the ins and outs in the overview of proxy marriage here. The New York Times also published an insightful article on the subject of proxy marriage involving members of the military.
Reputable proxy marriage websites do emphasize that arranging a wedding ceremony for family and friends once the couple is physically together is a good step to take after undertaking proxy marriage.
Proxy marriage websites
Not sure how to go about it? Those interested in arranging a proxy military marriage can start with these websites:
- S&B Professional Services has been featured in Stars and Stripes in the story, "Happy couple both no-show wedding: deployed troops make use of double-proxy ceremony". This website also supports and provides a portion of proceeds to Operation Uplink.
- Armed Forces Proxy Marriages which also provides marriage recipients with an attorney to represent them throughout the proceedings and donates a portion of all proceeds to the Scott Vallely Soldiers Memorial Fund.
- Dream Makers' Marriage Services that custom designs proxy marriages including a gathering on the internet "in cyberspace" called Live Proxy Marriage.
Proxy marriage caution
Make sure you read all fine print and that you are ensured in writing by whoever officiates over your proxy marriage that it will be legal here in Norfolk and elsewhere in the United States.
It's also advisable that an "in person" wedding ceremony after the proxy marriage is conducted once both partners are physically together, if only so that the union can be something to experience and remember as far more romantic than a mere 'paper shuffle' to pronounce you husband and wife.
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