Children with special needs are a vulnerable population. They can be some of the most adorable and sweet kids there are. But unfortunately they are the most bullied among us and often experience discrimination, judgment, and treatment that most of us have a hard time believing actually occurs. Research shows that about 6,000 babies are born with down syndrome each year and that children with developmental, intellectual, and mental or behavioral health problems are more likely to be bullied than normally developing children. The pendulum, however, swings both ways. Children with behavioral and mental health problems can also become the bully.
Interestingly, boys tend to use physical bullying and intentional intimidation more than girls, but girls tend to engage more in social bullying (attempting to destroy someone's reputation, ostracizing, or spreading rumors). It is my experience that girls can be more detrimental as bullies than boys because of this social bullying. In fact, a girl who was being cyber bullied ended up killing herself as a result. You can watch the attached video.
There are 4 major types of bullying that every parent should be cautious of:
1. Cyber (internet-based: Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, etc., stalking)
2. Verbal (name calling, taunting, inappropriate statements)
3. Physical (kicking, punching, pinching, etc.)
4. Social (attempting to destroy one’s reputation, spreading rumors, ostracizing)
What parents can do to help their child with a special need or severe mental illness:
1. Recognize signs of bullying: If you child comes home from school exhibiting the following signs, you should inquire about bullying:
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Torn clothing
• Unexplained bruising, marks, or scrapes
• Physical illness (nausea, headaches, etc.)
• Refusal to go to school or fearfulness
• Refusal to discuss school or events relating to school
• Isolation
2. Make a list of trusted adults: Make a list of trusted adults that your child can turn to at school or in the community if bullying were to occur. A child needs to know that they have a support system of adults who are willing to step in when they need help.
3. Role play: I’m not a big fan of role-playing, but there are times when we need to practice behaviors we want to use in our lives. Take turns role playing a bullying situation and appropriate ways to respond. You may feel silly at first, but keep in mind you are rehearsing with your child behaviors that he or she can use when away from you.
4. Motivate your child’s school: Schools are becoming increasingly aware of bullying and the importance of implementing consequences. There are both legal and educational consequences to bullying. Make sure your school abides by the laws/rules and encourage them to implement programs to reduce bullying. Request that your anti-bullying policy be posted around the school and follow up with the principal.
5. Know your state laws: Various states have implemented legal regulations to decrease bullying. For kids with special needs, some states employ “disability harassment” as a federal civil rights law. Children with special needs who are being bullied are entitled to the federal civil rights statute that prevents disability harassment, harassment of a child due to his or her special need.
Find more information about this on my site at: Anchored-In-Knowledge under the "Counseling, Bullying Prevention" tab.
