Sri Lankan prisoners probably aren't allowed to call collect from jail. According to a Feb. 8 AFP report, a male prisoner at the Welikada jail in Colombo got caught smuggling a cellphone up his anus. Literally.
Now that's a real "booty call".
The 58-year-old convict got caught when the device gave off a loud enough ringtone inside his rectum that it alerted jail guards in the prison. Seriously.
If only the prisoner would have put the phone on vibrate, he may have gotten away with a communication device while serving his time. That mistake meant that X-rays of his rectum are now available on the Internet for everyone to see, including his lawyer. But at least his cellphone camera was turned off while it was being hidden in his private cavity.
The prisoner not only concealed the phone, he also had the audacity to jam a hands-free headset up his rear. No reason was provided as to the prisoner's desperate attempt at communicating with the outside world, but he apparently bought into the phrase, "where there's a will, there's a (rectal) way."
Guards were alerted to ringing noise and ended up taking the prisoner to a local medical facility where doctors performed x-ray scans. What they saw must have provided the hospital staff dirty jokes for years to come.
The prisoner's rear cavity clearly showed a large device lodged right under his spine and between his hip bones. "Guards knew he had a phone at the wrong end," said one guard.
In the United States, federal prisons don't allow convicts to possess cellphones. Not only would inmates be able to plan crimes outside of their confines, they can create dangerous, improvised weapons out of the devices.
Mr. "Butt Dial" may have gotten caught when his cellphone rang inside his butt. But at least his captors, or doctors, didn't hear the following: "Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed."
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