When you meet someone new, you reveal things in the most unnatural way: you say them. In a relationship, you get to know someone through time and then understand what kind of person s/he is; but at first, it’s simply a tell-all. But how honest are the things that you’re saying? And if they are dishonest, are you lying to them, or to yourself?
In the beginning, you work hard to make a good first impression for your partner, but it’s also a chance to make a new impression for yourself. You’re an uptight woman who lives rigorously by a schedule, but now you can be a care-free girl who seizes each day; or you’re a sleazy man who hasn’t had any real relationships, but you can say that you’re a romantic, one-woman-at-a-time kind of guy, and not only can you say it, but you can also try to believe it. Is any of it true? No, because eventually you’ll fall back into your regular ways and your actions will contradict your words. The beginning’s only a fantasy.
Each time a relationship fails you try to find something better for the next one, but it seems that you also work on making yourself better. You collect issues that others have with you and you try to avoid having them again. Automatically, you have expectations to be a different person. You tell lies and fabrications, not to seduce someone into bed but really to seduce yourself into wanting to be with you. You say things because you wish they were that way, and you want another person to believe them about you as well. But of course, through the natural way of revelation, both of you will understand that they were just lies.
Sexual relationships are usually the most intimate for people and in those relationships their real selves are exposed. The vulnerability of that is enough to make people want to pretend that they’re someone better, but it’s even more motivated by the fact that they have the chance to say that they’re someone else.
Everyone pretends in the beginning, either by flat out lying or by omitting certain facts, but eventually it all comes out and the real person will show through. Perhaps your partner will not like that person, so though the temptation is there, it’s always better to avoid saying things about yourself that aren’t actual realities.
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