President Bashar Assad strolls in to his bedroom after his speech to find his wife Asma packing.
Bashar: Hello darling. What did you think of my speech? My favorite line was “The enemies of the people are the enemies of God, and the enemies of God will burn in hell.” Boy that speechwriter Hamid can really really turn a phrase, I think I....
Sees her packing a suitcase.
Bashar: What are you doing?
Asma: What does it look like I am doing? I am packing.
Bashar (puzzled): But why?
Asma: Are you kidding me? After that speech you just gave? And you are asking me why?
Bashar: I thought the speech was really good. You saw how everyone cheered. My people love me.
Asma: Your people fear you. Do you not watch TV? Al Jazeera? CNN? Hello? People were hoping that you would announce that you are leaving. That is what I hoped.
Bashar: Why should we leave? It's just a few criminals causing trouble. Soon everything will be like it was.
Asma: Like it was? Bashar.....you have killed 60,000 people. It can never be like it was.
Bashar: 60,000 is a bit of an exaggeration. That is a number cooked up by foreign agents.
Asma: That number is from the United Nations!
Bashar: Asma, baby, this is just temporary. You'll see. Soon the country will be back to normal. The Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov said....
Asma: Lavrov? Are you kidding me? That idiot? He is just as clueless as you are! Bashar, the Russians have an uncanny ability to be on the wrong side of history on every issue! There is only one way this can end. With you and I in exile or dead. Personally I prefer exile.
Bashar: Darling, we are not going anywhere. This will all blow over soon.
Asma: Blow over? Have you been talking to those crazy Iranians again? Bashar, the Iranian Revolutionary Guard are complete whack jobs!! They are fanatics. To them dying IS winning!
Bashar: Sweetie, I think you are over-reacting.
Asma: I am being realistic. Did you read what Rami Khouri, the editor of the Beirut-based Daily Star newspaper said on Twitter about your speech? “It was operatic in its otherworldly fantasy, unrelated to realities outside the building.”
Bashar: What is Twitter?
Asma: Bashar. I love you. But you have to be reasonable. We can still get out of here. We have billions stashed in Switzerland and Lichtenstein. We never have to work again. We could relax. Enjoy life. You could be a doctor again if you wanted to. What do you say honey?
Bashar: Asma that's enough. I won't hear any more of this defeatist talk. We have serious matters to discuss. Tomorrow I am going to announce that I am running for President in 2014. Do you think I should wear the blue tie or the green tie?
Pause
Bashar: Why are you crying?
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