There are pros and cons to being a preacher’s kid. Not all preachers’ homes represent the perfect family unit. In fact, due to the ministerial calling of the parents, times can get rough and tough. Spiritual battles can be brutal and as always, external pressures from the church and the secular world can be taxing. On the other hand, preacher’s kids can be the wisest and most spiritually advanced leaders in the church. Many variables affect the outcome and only God knows which way they will go.
Let’s face it, families of preachers live by a higher standard, it’s an expectation. They are supposed to represent the leadership and qualities of the pastor himself. Yet, this is not always the case. Often times, the children go astray and lead a rebellious life. They may even be deemed the worst members of the church or the worst kids in church. It’s a wonder more Christians don’t take the time to discover why this may occur.
Does the church want to have something to gossip about to rest of the laymen? Do we want to continue juicy phone conversations about what the third born did that’s different from the first born? Maybe our pastor’s family is so intriguing that we have left our knees and shut our bibles in hopes of something to talk about.
Some preachers' kids live with the harsh reality of hypocritical parents. Though, they may be in the ministry, their home lives don’t always reflect what the church sees. Leading a double life is one of the most damaging things children face. Ministers feel the pressure of living a perfect life; having the perfect family. Trying to live up to the pressure is the very cause of many family break-ups, because no family is perfect. No child is perfect either. We are all in need of God’s grace and strength and even more so those of us in higher callings with greater responsibilities. So, why do we pretend that this is not the case?.jpg)
In an article titled Preachers’ Kids from the online Enrichment Journal, Bill Carmichael wrote, "An effective growing church is more like a spiritual hospital." Preachers can’t afford to bring the "dirty linen" home. Those who deliver the Word of God and minister to others must shed off dead weight and renew themselves in prayer as often as needed, because children can pick up the frustration and the baggage left by others. The family’s spiritual health is crucial to development.
If the pastor comes home complaining of lazy members and dysfunctional auxiliaries it will most surely effect the family emotions and spiritual growth and development. This is not to say that one cannot learn how to appropriately address critical situations by actively listening, but problems and discussions that occur with no intent for reconciliation are simply burdens.
Churches everywhere will see spiritual growth when the focus is taken off the pastor and his family and placed upon a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. How can we get the mote out of our brother’s eye, when there is a beam in our own? It may be time for some much needed knee-ology!
Comments
I love it! Great job.
Great article! I wonder if some of this may not apply to kids who have key positions in church. My parents were not ministers, but in several auxilaries and I think the expectation was perfection. Also, I think church leaders are concerned about what people think when the kids go astray (raising my hand):-). You do all you can, but sometimes kids make bad decisions--it should be no reflection on the parents, rather like you said..a time to pray the parent's strength and the for the enemy to loose children in the name of Jesus!!
Excellent piece, Kristie!!!
great job liz well done
I agree whole-heartedly!! I would go into detail why, but it would be a novel!! Great job Liz!
I don't think you could have put it any plainer then you did. If we are born again we may have perfection within us but we can only reach toward perfection in this life. I think Natalie grant said it best in one of her songs .... there is no such thing as perfect people, there is not such thing as a perfect life.... our leaders no exception. The only one that is perfect is God. David was the greatest fully human king and leader of the Isrealites and yet his sin was great he is remembered and honored for his faith and devotion in the Lord. Even Paul said that his flesh drawn him to do things he must not. How much different our our leaders today. Romans 2:1 says ... for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself... AMEN
I think we put too high a standard on the Pastor and his fam. Except Jesus none who followed him would make it past the elders in a church. Maybe not even Jesus after he left the Temple with a whip in his hand.... Oh Pastor Paul you are depressed and tell us you try to good but do bad. Soory you do not meet the standard of the church. Peter, Peter Peter, Cutting off ears and denying Christ. I am sorry you do no represent out vaules. Judas OUT! Andrew and the reast YOU LEFT your Families to follow yor new Job. Shame one you not taking care of your families you're OUT!
awesome. thats all i can say!
its so true and real and its good to get somaeone 's opinion thats "been there done that" kind of a thing. i thought that it was insightful and down to earth awesome! (i guess i did have more to say:))))
People like to say "Preachers kids are the worst kind!" Well the good laymen always get what they ask for. It is almost like we are given the permission to be bad. We get to listen to the crazy laymen day after day. One minute they are "bringing in the shieves" and the next minute they are throwing stones at the rest of the community. When that is said and done they say they are the "future of the community!" I honestly don't know why we are so messed up. I'm sure it can't be because the laymen are so crazy!
When we get to be a teenager we are expected to know Christian theology like an ordained priest. Saying the finest prayers and singing in the choir and listening to all of the problems of the "good church people!" We get a place right next to God just by being a PK. What a life!
I remember praying... "Lord save me from the crazy church people!" and "I'll be good if that deacon will just stop praying... I am hungry and I just want to go home."
Does anyone know of any support groups for grown children of the clergy? I grew up in a pastor's home, and it was very difficult. I have had problems due to this up until this day, and I'm 46. Hard to believe but true.
I am 42 and just now have the courage to begin searching for a solution to this blight. My solution was to withdraw and isolate completly.
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