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Pre-Screening Thoughts On Movies: Fifty Shades Of Grey Cont.

As promised, we're keeping the ball rolling on the Fifty Shades Of Grey movie, and as new information pops up, it gets easier and easier to criticize it.

Don't get too excited, reader. This may very well be as hot as it gets.

Maybe my pre-screening criticism is a little unfair because it's mostly based on promos, digital stills, and production news popping up all over the fast-moving web, but at the same time, it's an educated opinion to help you get a concise look at how a movie will turn out, and given that we always go see the films after the pre-screening thoughts, you get yourself a well-rounded review with predictions versus what actually happens, and that is golden.

On to the film!

So Fifty Shades Of Grey is reportedly dialing back the sexuality. Check out my prior news article here for details. Before this news had even come to light, I predicted in a previous pre-screening article that Fifty Shades Of Grey would not be a faithful adaptation and would likely not include a lot of the sexuality we got from the book. And if nothing else, that should give you some faith in my Sherlock Holmes-style skills of detection and knowledge derived from knowing too much about the film industry for my own good.

So, where do we go from here? We talk about what could've been done to save this film. That's right, I now have zero faith in it being a bit successful. Why? The sexuality is a selling-point in erotic novels. Take that away and what are you left with? Another boring romance about an unhealthy relationship between two people who occasionally "do the nasty" in the most Quaker way possible (or so it would be implied).

And while the film producers intend to make it a little spicier than some of the movies that are out there, even that's going to be a stretch. If you want this film to sell tastefully, you'll have to turn the knob way way back, my friends. Sex in movies is nothing new, erotica sex in movies that features BDSM and bedroom romance you should exchange insurance information with each other prior to, is not generally considered tasteful or acceptable onscreen. (Not that it's really ever been attempted on this scale before).

Overall, Fifty Shades Of Grey, in my opinion, stands as an example of a production that should never have gone into full swing. Let's face it, the book was wildly successful, but it's a glorified drug-store erotic fantasy. Making that into a movie is a sad ploy to make a quick buck, and now with this news that the story will have to take one (or 12) on the chin just to be acceptable to screening standards, means that a lot of fans will likely abandon the prospect of watching it when it releases (whenever that might be).

Now, if the film was to go on HBO you might have a real good shot at having your cake and eating it too. Game Of Thrones, The Tudors, The White Queen, all had amazing and explicit sex scenes in them. Fifty Shades could've gotten away with a lot if it had gone the TV series route, but it did not.

And while we may see that the filmmakers behind it were clever enough to keep the explicit nature of the novel to a minimum while still maintaining a healthy flow of hot and heavy, it's much more fun to criticize with an educated opinion than it is to assume that it'll be both tasteful and faithful. This especially so, because it would be nearly impossible to maintain both at the same time and still come out with a film that is compelling and easily nominateable for awards.

What do you think of this new news? Will you still watch the film even without all the raunchy romance that made it popular? Let us know in the comments below.

And remember, in spite of all the evidence, it's still just a theory. We'll have to see the finished product before we're ready to make a true, whole-hearted opinion based on the actual screening. For now, all we have is our thoughts, and until the movie premieres, we'll have to make do.

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