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polygamy-the new lifestyle?


Polygamy is one of the most controversial debates in the sexuality world today.  Are you supposed to stay with one person and remain completely faithful forever (as our American culture believes) or is a relationship with many partners just as satisfying?  If you've ever watched an episode of Sex and the City you'd know that people today think and agree with both types of lifestyles.  If you're like Charlotte, the idea is absolutely revolting.  On the other hand, Samantha says in an episode she shouldn't deny what feels natural and right to her (which is sex with many, many men.) 

A good portion of our society believes that this type of lifestyle hardly exists but it is a serious approach to relationships for some people. Experts say that there are 30,000-50,000 people living in plural families across the country.   Before we go any further, I want to give a broad definition of what Polygamy is-literally it means "loving many".  Whether that means marriage to more than one person (which isn't allowed in the U.S. but is in other cultures and counties), dating more than one person, and/or sleeping with multiple people.  Some critics suggest that the Western practice of frequent divorce and remarrying represents a form of serial polygamy. 

Dossie Easton who is a sex and family therapist, recently wrote the book "The Ethical Slut" which has been said to be known as "the bible" for polygamy.  She states that "There are many ways to love, and many formats for creating wonderful and fulfilling relationships-from having more than one sexual partner to a group marriage. A slut is a person who celebrates an adventurous lifestyle, but while honoring the feelings and boundaries of all persons involved, even those who may not be in the room at the time while you're being adventurous."  I think most people wouldn't give that same definition for the word "slut."  She goes on to discuss polygamous can actually be a more open and honest relationship as opposed to monogamy.  She says, "What is interesting about polygamous lifestyles is that when people live out in the open, they can welcome lovers into their families, so that these threats-which are usually kept secret and can fester-are openly discussed and integrated."  

Even though it is doubtful that polygamy will ever be legal in the United States some experts believe that this type of  lifestyle is shining through more and more in our society.  People now are staying single longer and getting married later.  Are people staying single longer for the pure fact that they want to experiment more with other people and keep things casual?  Or is our society getting married later so they can experience more things for themselves-such as traveling, getting a degree, a high paying job, etc? Look for the answer in a later article this week!


  • Doug 5 years ago

    The word you're looking for is polyamory ("Loving Many"). Polygamy specifically relates to marriage and is illegal in all 50 states (even if Utah doesn't like it very much)

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