Ever heard of a ceramic squirrel stabbing? That is, anyone who was attacked and stabbed with a ceramic squirrel? Comes a story out of South Carolina that will fill the void. And it is a Christmas story to boot, albeit one absent cheerfulness and good will toward men.
Well, one man at least...
The Associated Press reported (via Yahoo News) Dec. 27 that police in North Charleston, S. C., say a woman, Helen Williams, angered by the fact that her husband returned home on Christmas Eve without any beer, attacked him with a ceramic squirrel, stabbing him in the shoulder and chest after apparently beating him about the head with it.
It didn't seem to matter that the man had a perfectly legitimate excuse for having no beer, what with everything closing up for Christmas day. Any yet...
When police arrived on the scene early Christmas morning, they were met by Williams, who told them that her bloodied husband had fallen and cut himself. But when asked why her hands and clothes were covered in blood as well, the 44-year-old woman was at a loss for an explanation.
A Charleston County Sheriff's office report explained that the incident occurred when the man arrived at his North Charleston home on Christmas Eve without beer. Deputies, who arrived shortly after midnight, said that the wife then became so angry -- no beer, all the stores were closed -- that she grabbed a nearby ceramic squirrel and assaulted her husband with it.
Helen Williams was subsequently arrested, charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature, according to the Charleston Post and Courier.
As the Post and Courier explained in greater detail, Williams not only told the police her husband fell and cut himself, but denied that the blood on her person was from her husband's wounds.
The attack itself occurred, the 41-year-old husband told the police, after he walked to a nearby store to buy beer, only to find the place closed. When he returned without the beer, his wife grabbed the ceramic squirrel and began hitting and stabbing him with it.
The man was treated for his injuries a nearby hospital.
Helen Williams was still in jail Friday, held on a $10,000 bond. It is unclear whether or not she had legal representation.