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Please leave your baggage at the door

A benefit of having male friends is the insider information they divulge. It is akin to having Steve Harvey in my back pocket for reference. Men rarely brag on their women. If they are happy it never comes up in conversation. However, when things are going badly I am usually the first call. You could call me the "BreakUp Whisperer." I have a knack for helping to put perspective on the situation as well as just great comical relief to get their mind off the disappointment. This closet of broken dreams affords me the hind site to see where my sisters are getting off the beaten path. There are certain life experiences which shape our personality in a negative way. The past can not be changed but how we react to it lies in our hands. Ladies if you are one of these types you can quit wondering why you can't keep a man.

18 years

Gold Digger- We think of the Anna Nicole Smith type immediately. Young, beautiful and broke females seeking wealthy male on his death bed. This accounts for a minority percentage of the type at hand. Most likely due to the fact that having sex with an 80 year old, little blue pill enhanced man would make most digress. The majority of females in the dating arena could be considered Gold Digger Lite. They have no issue going out with a man they have zero interest in simply to try out all the five star restaurants she can not afford. This type typically will dump you after Valentine's Day. She wants all the benefits of Christmas presents, New Years Eve events and ski vacations.

Daddy Issues- This would include, but not limited to, the professional poletition aka the stripper. She is not working her way through college. That same chic will be 40 serving up eggs and legs for a greasy twenty. Her daddy was a rolling stone and she has spent the rest of her life trying to fill that vacancy. No amount of male attention is ever enough. Don't leave her alone in the room with you homies or your dad for that matter. You will walk back in and she will be swinging her clear heels dangling from his lap.

Miss Insecurity- Women thrive on compliments. When we get dolled up to go out and walk up to you in our new dress and heels we are waiting for you to express your admiration. If nothing is said, we assume you do not like the outfit. Confidence is something you can't learn. It most likely stems from a negative experience from childhood or a past relationship. With an insecure female, no matter how many times you tell her she is beautiful, she will disagree with you. So, the compliments stop. She begins to spiral downhill into a deep depression. This is not a staircase you want to be on.

Gossip Girl- She literally thrives on the pain of others. Hours of lurking social media sites along with follow up texts and calls to decipher the context of a post. She is the Wendy Williams of bad news. Great events are of no interest to her. Finding out how everyone's life is falling apart makes her feel better about hers. You can also bet that every fight of yours will be documented online.

Bopper- Dallas is a hotbed for this type. Find her fighting to get in VIP and at a professional sports player's table with bottle service. She has no interest in a guy with a regular job. Her ambition is to be featured on a reality show dashing drinks on her "friends." She does not have a sports preference. As long as his last name is featured on a jersey he has a shot with her. She loves the publicity that comes with the relationship.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T- These are very successful, career oriented women with college degrees. They have worked hard to get where they are. They do not need you and will make it clear to you on a regular basis. She can pay for anything she needs. This lady has a checklist and no one is ever going to be able to meet her demands. She is ok with that because remember, she doesn't need you. She has eggs and she has a rabbit so if you think she needs you for sex or a baby you are surely mistaken. Trust me, you don't need her either. Feel free to google rabbit. We are not talking furry animals here.

Baggage Claim- She is broken and bruised. You can see the tell tells signs from the protruding bottom lip and swollen eyes from endless tears. Cheated on and left with nothing but a broken heart. A band-aid is what she is looking for. You can expect no trust from this poor soul. She was done dirty and you will do the same in her eyes. She wants your passcodes and access to your schedule at all times. Even that is not enough. You will spend the entire relationship attempting to pay another man's debt.

There are many single, fabulous women in the world. However, they are most likely not in the club every weekend. If these are the types you seem to attract you might want to pick up a mirror and examine the real root of the problem.

But here's what they don't tell you. You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something. You can fuck a woman with a diamond dick and make her come ten times, and she'll still complain. "Why did you make me come so hard? This diamond dick is cloudy, why didn't you go to Tiffany's? You're so fucking cheap." ~Chris Rock

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