This follows from -Planning-the-guest-list-part-1 in which the problem of too many guests to invite, given budget or space limitatons, particularly for New York weddings that tend to draw more people is presented. Here are some options for the people you would love to include but cannot add to the dinner count:
Invited to the Chuppah
One possibility is to invite everyone you would like to include on your guest list to chuppah and smorgasbord reception right before or after it. The latter choice usually involves offering some light refreshment at the initial reception and then setting out the full buffet after the chuppah. Though it involves more food, which may be rather much for the guests who are staying for the dinner, it does allow for guests to participate in at least the first round of dancing.
Invited to Dancing
Another option that came to be some years ago is inviting the friend of the bride and groom e who cannot be included to the dinner to come after the main course is over (usually 9:30 or 10 PM for an evening wedding ) for what is called simchas chosson v’kallah. This allows the younger crowd to join in the festivities and the mitzvah of dancing at the wedding without the expense of adding to the numbers for the dinner. It is not likely to get too crowded, as by that time, many of the guests who had arrived earlier are leaving. This shift in grouping allows more people to participate without too much crowding and without the added catering expenses. .Though these guests do not enjoy the usual refreshments extended by rules of hospitality, the practice has become quite common in many circles, so they are not likely to be offended.
Whichever option you select to keep your guest list under control, remember this rule, when in doubt, do not leave them out, the money you would save is not worth the hurt feelings that may result from not receiving an expected invitation. Do not try to rationalize that you are saving them a trip; it their prerogative to o decide if the wedding is too inconvenient for them. Another thing to remember that the real guest list does not usually match the anticipated one. There are always some no-shows and an occasional surprise guest, as well. So long as the numbers basically fit your hall and seating chart, it is not a problem. Just go with the flow, so you can enjoy the celebration with all the guests who do come.
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