The coolest-sounding plane crash in the history of human flight took place over the weekend as two planes carrying skydivers collided in mid-air and all those aboard were able to parachute to safety. One of the pilot’s suffered minor injuries but was able to land his plane, while the other pilot parachuted to the ground along with nine other skydivers after being forced to eject from his burning plane, a scenario we’re all familiar with from the movies but actually took place in real life on Saturday.
According to Mike Robinson, a skydiving instructor aboard one of the planes, all nine skydivers aboard the planes had or were preparing to jump when the planes collided at 12,000 feet over South Superior, Wisconsin, which is along the Wisconsin-Minnesota border.
“We were just kind of lucky that we were at the point where we were out of the airplane,” said Robinson, one of four jumpers on the first plane and lead player in the thrilling adaptation of this unbelievable true story that’s currently playing in the theater of our minds. “If we’d been back in the rear of the airplane when they collided it might have been a little bit different.”
Although the cause of the collision remains unclear, most of America went ahead and assumed it came at the end of a daring hand-to-hand fight sequence between the pilot and a sinister foreign agent, who somehow fled the scene without a trace. While the lead plane was severely damaged, forcing its pilot to eject using his emergency parachute in a scene that probably looked something like this, the pilot of the second plane was able to land safely at the nearby Superior Airport, conjuring a mental image more reminiscent of this.
“The pilot did a great job being able to land it,” Robinson said, presumably while lighting a fat cigar with a zippo lighter.
While the pilot was busying fighting the odds to get the plane on the ground, the nine skydivers who had begun their descent remained in danger, as the damaged plane’s fuselage rained down on them.
“We’re in free fall, so we’re falling about 120 miles an hour vertically down...But then we open our parachutes, and now all the sudden they’re falling faster than we are. … Fortunately, everybody kept it together so they just avoided (the debris),” Robinson said, before thanking Iron Man for his assistance in the incredible rescue, remarks that were somehow left off the record.
Due to top-secret weaponry on the part of Tony Stark or simple dumb luck, no one was injured by the wreckage of the plane, a crucial detail that allows us to indulge in some of the more fanciful elements of this story.
“It’s definitely a reminder of the sport that we all love,” Robinson said. “It can be a dangerous sport, it usually is not. We go through extensive training to learn how to be safe. Unfortunately an airplane crashed, you know you take what you get in the circumstances, we were just lucky this time.” If he’s the action hero that our imagination so desperately wants us to believe he is, Robinson then kissed his beautiful wife, tussled the hair of his young son and shuffled slowly yet confidently to the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier where he and his team are expected to take a few days rest before engaging in their next operation.