It seems that the position of Pope is open now, and I have a friend who wants to apply for the job. I am not sure that this is possible, but let’s follow this thinking for a while. I would love to give him credit for this idea, but it might adversely affect where he lives and works. And that is a sad commentary on the Christian community.
My friend thinks that this would a pretty good position. He notes that it seems to be a nice overall employment package with income, assistants, health care, good meals and travel expenses. Plus, you get to use a bullet proof Popemobile
He points out a lot of other benefits as well. You can get some fancy red slippers/shoes, assorted nifty hats such as the beanie (but without the propeller) called the zucchetto.
Then there is the fancy pointed hat called the mitre. To me it looks like an up-ended post hole digger.
The triple crown hat is a tiara while the broad-brimmed red mid-west style cowboy hat is apparently a galero and the floppy soft bag hat with the ermine lining is a camauro. In short, it looks as if my friend, if he makes the cut, would have some nice choices of pope headwear. Some these you could adorn with stuck-in Tees if a golfer, banjo picks if in a bluegrass band, or cover with felt and use for flies and lures if a fisherman.
Added benefits are that the pope gets to live in a fancy castle-like structure, with all the maid service and assistants he needs. Of course, you would have to hang out of a window now and again and wave to the crowd, give a blessing here and there and otherwise appear godly and caring.
He would be a more moral person than some in the College of Cardinals since he has never molested little altar (or any other kind) of boys (or non-altar girls) which can’t be said of all in the crew of applicants or possible for the job.
Now before you go off on me about this accusation, remember that one of the long shots for the pope position – with his name and photo on TV recently - is Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York. No one thinks seriously that he will make it, since who would want a super-pope from a super-power country.
But we get ahead of ourselves. Back in May, Dolan, then the Archbishop of Milwaukee, was reported or accused by the New York Times of paying or allowing payments of $20,000 each to priests retiring from the priesthood to get them out of range of criminal charges of abusing children. Up to 100 church employees or priests were supposed involved with up to 500 children affected.
Then there is retired Cardinal Roger Mahoney of Los Angeles, also heading to Rome for the pope conclave and vote, who allegedly allowed Rev. Nicholas Aguilar Rivera to flee back to Mexico in 1987 after charges of molesting 26 children erupted.
My friend has never even gotten a jaywalking ticket, and certainly has far higher standards and morals than the above and perhaps others in this pope-electing crew. Getting him elected for pope ought to be a snap.
Then again, he is inviting me to visit him any time where we could fish the canals of Venice, perhaps shoot some birds in the Italian countryside, visit fine gun manufacturers and sample the best in Italian food.
Sounds like a great deal for good buddies of the Pope.