PFLAG... Seattle style

Meeting Barb Clark-Elliot, President of the Board of Directors of the Seattle PFLAG Chapter, is like meeting a perpetual fountain of knowledge and networking potential. Even getting over a spring cold, the energy that emanates from the lady is incredible, as is the passion that she brings to the support of PFLAG and related projects. Her outgoing personality and infectious laugh were enough to make even this budding journalist feel completely at ease. Retired from a career with the Federal Government, Barb knows how to take the smallest of advantages and turn it into a huge success, due to her organizational skills and energetic outlook. Her business card shows just how in-touch she is with the fears of being an LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, TransGendered) ally, with the phrase “SPEAK UP -Even though your voice shakes!”

The idea for PFLAG (Parents and Families of Lesbians And Gays) began in 1972 when Jeanne Manford marched with her gay son in New York's Pride Day parade. After many gay and lesbian people ran up to Jeanne during the parade and begged her to talk to their parents, she decided to begin a support group. The first formal meeting took place in March 1973 at a local church. Approximately 20 people attended. (This history snapshot provided by the official PFLAG website.) From there, the idea took off, culminating in the 250 chapters in the United States as well as chapters in other parts of the world. A non-profit organization, PFLAG is run by volunteers, with the exception of the accountant that makes sure the tax-deductible donations are handled properly not only so that the chapters are able to buy their pamphlets, etc, but so that the non-profit 501c3 status of the organization stays active with the IRS.

Up until recently there were 23 chapters of PFLAG active within Washington state, but lack of funding in these uncertain economic times has forced some of them to close down. In the Seattle area, however, we in the LGBT community are fortunate to have some very wonderful companies that donate not only money but time to PFLAG and related causes. Boeing, Microsoft and Macy's have programs that make it possible for PFLAG and other LGBT related causes to provide the support that is needed so badly by the community. The sight of the Macy's name coming down the street in the Seattle Gay Pride Parade in late June is a beautiful thing, as is the presence of so many of the PFLAG families.

Mrs. Clark-Elliot, the (straight) mother of a Bi-Sexual son who has Aspergers Syndrome, says that “...no-one is required to come out...until they are ready.” By that, she means that a person, be they the LGBT person themselves or a family member, should not come out of the so-called “closet” of personal safety unless they themselves are ready to live with the possible consequences of coming out. Though being Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual or Transgendered no longer bears nearly the stigma it used to, there is the possibility that some people will pull out of that persons' life. Ignorance, as well as the fear of being known as “different”, can be a scary line to cross, especially so when the balance of the ignorance is fostered by the religious community, telling the families of gays that their loved ones are forever doomed to damnation. In some cases employment situations can be compromised. While discrimination against LGBT folks has been illegal since January of 2006, there are still situations in which employment can be made to feel uncomfortable. Case in point; a local church, which shall remain nameless in order to maintain a safe place for everyone, has a partnered gay priest. Unfortunately, it was not always so. When the previous pastor, Pastor Tom, came out to his congregation, fully one-third of them walked out of the church, according to Mrs. Clark-Elliot. It was up to a plucky, nerves-of-steel woman by the name of Maxine who encouraged the congregation and selection committee to consider applicants who were as open-minded as the majority of the congregation had become. Fortunately, just the right man came along and they offered him the job. Just so happens that he is gay and has a long-time partner. And, he is loved without reservation by the members of the church.

One last phrase from a new friend and (hopefully, with her permission) source of all good things in the LGBT world.
”Being Gay just....IS.”

Mela Malone can be contacted at mela.etsy@gmail.com .