The Academy Awards are usually something that is generally skipped in this household because why would you want to waste five hours of your life when you can just read the results in less than 30 seconds immediately after the show and watch clips of the best moments on Youtube the following day? However it was decided, after the red carpet coverage had already started, that some sort of coverage of the event should probably take place. It is The Oscars after all. Regardless of what you think of them this is still the biggest movie event of the year. Here's a look at the observations that were made last night. Hopefully this commentary dripping with cynicism and sarcasm is at least somewhat entertaining.
- Charlize Theron is freakishly tall.
- Did that college filmmaker that won a trip to The Oscars really just say "cereal" instead of "surreal"? You're in college. What are you doing?
- Robert De Niro looked really angry about being interviewed on the red carpet.
- Daniel Radcliffe seemed really awesome and humbled to be there, but was kind of confused as to why he was there to begin with.
- Halle Berry looked like a zebra dressed by Liberace.
- If you tripped and fell on Anne Hathaway's chest, you'd lose an eye and possibly a cheekbone.
- Did this interviewer see the same "Lincoln" that everyone else did? She practically worshiped Daniel Day-Lewis.
- Willem Dafoe's Mercedes-Benz commercial where he played the devil was amazing.
- Robert Downey Jr looked like he was too cool to be there.
- Seth MacFarlane was a really entertaining host. His "We Saw Your Boobs" song and sock puppet "Flight" bit were hilarious.
- So that's why Daniel Radcliffe was brought in; Radliffe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Seth MacFarlane had a singing and dancing number that followed Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron dancing together.
- "The Avengers" cast likes to dog on each other for being egotistical and over aged. Also Samuel L. Jackson still does whatever the hell he wants.
- The 50 Years of Bond segment was really stylish, but it would've been better if that planned idea of all of the actors who portrayed James Bond uniting on stage would've actually happened.
- John Travolta introduced a tribute to musicals; Catherine Zeta-Jones sounded amazing, Jennifer Hudson sounded like she was being tortured, and the cast of "Les Miserables" had the entire audience in the palm of their hand.
- Jack Nicholson looked crazy lost whenever the camera panned over to him.
- Mark Wahlberg and Ted were great as was MacFarlane's "The Sound of Music" joke before introducing Christopher Plummer.
- Salma Hayek was as stunning as always, but her dress looked like she was being put in a choke hold by pirate treasure.
- The In Memoriam tribute was almost as classy as Daniel Day-Lewis' acceptance speech.
- Why did Barbra Streisand come out dressed like a palm reader and wearing a dog collar?
- Tim Burton's Samsung Galaxy commercial was pretty great.
- At this point, should we really be surprised that Jennifer Lawrence fell or made herself even more awkward when the spotlight was put on her? It's become her trademark.
- Nicholson continued to look frazzled when he helped present the award for best picture. His thick rimmed and crooked glasses didn't help matters. He co-presented the award with Michelle Obama and the entire world agreed that that was the most unusual tag team in the history of anything.
- Ben Affleck's sped up acceptance speech for "Argo" was insane.
Sources: imdb.com, screenrant.com
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