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Personality conflicts in marriage (part III)

Personalities should thrive in marriage because it is with your spouse that you should feel the most comfortable. A loving, accepting spouse provides the safe haven you need from the outside. But what if your ways are too much like those your spouse is trying to escape?

According to Pastor Earl Wilson, A local Marriage and Family Therapist, if a marriage is to succeed, both partners must embrace their differences in personality. "There is a reason why 'opposites attract,' says Pastor Wilson, "and the very thing that originally brings them together can end up tearing them apart."

The underlying principle in many aspects of the Bible is to act in love. It is the greatest commandment. But there are marriages that are not operating in love because of the dark ways of one or both spouses.

Pastor Wilson states that couples who want healthy relationships are those in which both spouses are transparent with one another, and they take action to build each other up instead of tear each other down.

Teresa, a local healthcare provider, stated that she verbally opposed her husband's controlling their household finances because of her earning power in the marriage.  

Pastor Wilson believes that commitment and a willingness to communicate with respect are necessary for couples to build each other up. "It's a partnership. And when one or both partners start feeling differently, the relationship could be in serious trouble."

"I had to deal with my dark issues," Teresa resolved. For instance, "I'd tell him to make a sandwich for dinner, even though we had food in the fridge for a cooked meal."

Teresa stated that she realized that holding on to her self-centered, pronounced ways was crippling their relationship.

In John 8:36, Jesus declares that He has set God's people free. That means that through His power, Christians are free from any desires, ways, and habits that deviate from God's will.

Remember that love is an action word. True love is tested. It must be evident in what you say to your spouse as well as in what you do for your spouse to show God's real love.

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