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Personality conflicts in marriage (part I)

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but strategy in addressing conflict in marriage is crucial. Personalities and personal habits can fuel conflict in any marriage, but conflicts should be addressed in love.

"My husband has a control factor built into his personality," Donna, a local teacher, said. "Wanting to be a good Christian wife," she added, " I wanted to submit and allow him to make decisions to drive our home in the right direction. I got to where I became complacent in letting him make final decisions in every matter related to our marriage. I became the silent, submissive partner."

In Ephesians, Chapter 5, the Apostle Paul does encourage wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Furthermore, Paul states, " For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior."

Paul's words are often shunned by many women-- even Christian women. Nevertheless, regardless of how this scripture is received, it is still up to men and women to address an issue such as "the head spouse in charge."

Even though Donna made a decision to accept her husband's need for control of their marriage matters, her lack of voice in their marriage and her need for a voice became evident in her attitude.

"My husband began to respond positively in a very subtle way. I knew he didn't want me to feel left out of marital decisions, and he relented some of his control very slowly but in a loving way."

Donna's husband began sneaking in questions about how she felt about the location for their next trip and asking her for her suggestions regarding how they could save money in the budget.

"I know without asking that this is an ongoing prayer to deny self on my husband's part. He admitted his need for control in most matters, but he wasn't willing to allow this personality quirk to cause a rift in our marriage."

Look for more weekly articles on common personality quirks and personal habits that have tried local couples and the ways these couples successfuly resolved these conflicts in love.




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