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People don’t fall out of love, they just get bored

Papuma Beach, Jember Regency, East Java province.
Danumurthi Mahendra.

It starts out with romantic dates, giggles on the phone until 4 a.m., and butterflies in their stomachs before they see each other...and then they start to get comfortable. Before they know it, he is farting out loud and she is rocking out to Selena Gomez in front of him, which sounds more like the mating call of a wild boar.

It’s dangerous to get too comfortable, because people tend to forget how to keep the relationship alive when it’s not happening on its own.

The difference between boredom and falling out of love can be confusing because if couples get caught up in doing the same things over and over, day in and day out, it might feel like the wonderful person they once had fun with and loved is not so much fun anymore. But that’s not true. Most likely, they are still that same fun person; they just need to be rediscovered.

Rediscover love and fun:

Become a doer. It doesn’t require spending lots of money. Take a nice walk in the park (biking or roller-blading are great options too), go window-shopping together, or invite friends over to play an adult board game, such as Cards Against Humanity. Believe it or not, spending time with mutual friends strengthens a couple’s bond as well.

Start looking nice for each other again. That doesn’t mean spending hours picking an outfit and making sure every last hair is neatly in place. Here’s a simple trick: If the hair, clothes, or make-up would not be good enough for a first date with someone new, then it is not good enough for the current partner.

Couples need to make it a point to stay connected with one another throughout the day via sweet texts or a brief phone call during lunch. Frequently sharing tidbits about each other’s days results in conversations becoming interesting again and voilá: Nobody is bored.

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