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Pentagon is prepared for a zombie apocalypse with elaborate plan

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You just never know when a zombie apocalypse might happen. The government knows this, too, so according to CNN on May 16, there’s a plan in place to take out those nasty flesh munchers. Yes, the Pentagon has an elaborate plan to defend the U.S. from a catastrophic attack, including a zombie apocalypse.

Actually, the zombie apocalypse scenario is being used as a training template for how to plan for real-life, large-scale catastrophes and emergencies. "The document is identified as a training tool used in an in-house training exercise where students learn about the basic concepts of military plans and order development through a fictional training scenario," Navy Capt. Pamela Kunze, a spokeswoman for U.S. Strategic Command, told CNN. "This document is not a U.S. Strategic Command plan."

The training document is known as “CONOP 8888” and is unclassified. The document allows for targeting a wide variety of zombies, including vegetarian zombies. Vegetarian zombies are no threat to humans but ravage grain supplies to the max.

The document has some very specific rules of engagement. "The only assumed way to effectively cause causalities to the zombie ranks by tactical force is the concentration of all firepower to the head, specifically the brain," the plan reads. "The only way to ensure a zombie is 'dead' is to burn the zombie corpse."

The plan is very complete. Everything is contemplated from awareness training, recalling soldiers from duty stations, deployments, teams to assess the situation and even an after plan, once the situation has been resolved. The chain of command is specifically spelled out so everyone knows his/her exact job.

But why use zombies and not people? There was a definite reason, according to defense officials. "Rather than risk such an outcome by teaching our augmentees using the fictional 'Tunisia' or 'Nigeria' scenarios used at (Joint Combined Warfighting School), we elected to use a completely impossible scenario that could never be mistaken as a real plan."

So does this mean an invasion of zombies is imminent? No, not really. You are reasonably assured of not being overrun by flesh-eating invaders any time soon. The document was created for the sole purpose of having an elaborate scenario for handling a disaster on the scale of a zombie apocalypse, although not exactly that.

This is not the first time that zombies have been used for government training. The Department of Homeland Security and the Centers for Disease Control have used zombies as a training vehicle in the past.

However, just in case some bolder zombies get any ideas, they should carefully contemplate the following instruction in the training template. . . just in case.

Maintain emergency plans to employ nuclear weapons within (the continental United States) to eradicate zombie hordes."

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