Peer pressure is an age-old issue, yet the consequences seem to grow worse every year. With the introduction of social networking sites, cyberbullying has also entered the scene. Although peer pressure is often considered an adolescent issue, it can begin much earlier. The sooner you prepare your children, the more time they'll have to develop the confidence necessary for handling threatening situations.
Helping your children resist coercion does not have to mean acting for them. Instead, you can empower your kids with tools and language for dealing with incidents themselves.
Leaders and Followers
Leaders and followers both benefit from lessons on peer pressure. Understanding your child's personality will help you provide the most appropriate advice. Leadership skills become apparent as early as elementary school. Children tend to initiate activities or join in with others. Whether your children are leaders or followers doesn't necessarily matter unless they find themselves in emotionally upsetting or physically dangerous situations as a result.
Understanding Peer Pressure
Children can't resist peer pressure if they don't know what it is. Discuss evidence of peer pressure with your kids even if you think they're too young. Talk about the difference between positive and negative pressure. Peers can encourage you to do something you're nervous about, such as try out for a team, or they can push you into doing something you don't want to do, like lie to your parents. Since friends can persuade you to behave in ways you wouldn't have otherwise considered, recognizing the difference is essential.
Teaching Strategies
- Talk as a family about your beliefs and values. What suggestions might friends make that conflict with these values?
- Give examples of peer pressure (intimidation, withholding friendship, repetitive insisting, etc.).
- Role play! Scenarios might include pressure to smoke, cheat on a test, or steal from a store.
- List some responses to peer pressure:
- Ignore the person
- Continue to refuse
- Change the subject
- Suggest alternatives
- Explain why it’s a bad idea
- Find new company
- Get help
Boston Area Training
IMPACT, a nonprofit organization located in Malden, MA, provides children with strategies for handling peer pressure, bullying, and encounters with strangers. Instructors teach self-defense, verbal de-escalation skills, and conflict resolution. KidSAFE, a course offered this February, will train children to be assertive by strengthening their communication and decision-making skills. For more information email Meg Stone or call 781-321-3900.
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