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Pass the milk please

When I make my bi-weekly run to the grocery store I grab a cart and make a beeline to the Cookie, Crackers & Candy aisle first. Crap, I grabbed another cart with one bad wheel. So as I skidded down the aisle last week I was shocked as I cruised past the Ritz Crackers and Cheese Nips to find an entire wall devoted to Oreo Cookies. It was like an altar of devotion to the Oreo’s, milk’s favorite cookies. Had been there a Laz-y-Boy nearby and a couple of gallons of milk I could have stayed there for days.

Got Milk?
Got Milk?internet/Rus Pishnery
Got Milk?
Got Milk?internet/Rus Pishnery

But what lay before me on the packed shelves were probably at least thirty different variations of Oreo’s. What happened to the plain old black and white cookies?

I know that in Russia they eat caviar flavored potato chips, in Spain they eat All-Bran cereal in a bowl of coffee instead of milk and the Chinese like Oreo’s stuffed with mango and baby panda bear droppings, but must Oreo stoop to catering to such regional tastes?

I recently returned from the Oreo-Con Lollipop-alooza Expo held in the Mermaid Lounge at the beautiful Abracadabra Hotel just outside of fabulous Las Vegas. I was fortunate enough to sample some of the various cookies on display located behind a majestic ice sculpture of a Double Stuf Golden Oreo cookie.

There are about forty different varieties of Oreo’s currently on the shelves throughout the world. They come in all shapes, sizes and flavors though I did not come across a Smoked Salmon with Dill Oreo’s, a flavor I’m sure would be a hit in North Dakota or Sweden.

Let’s quickly run down the list.

Chocolate Oreo, Golden Oreo Peanut Butter Oreo, Halloween Oreo’s, Football-shaped Oreo’s Gingerbread Oreo’s and Big Stuf Oreo’. These are just a few.

Canada has Strawberry Milkshake Oreo, China and Japan sell Green Tea Oreo and Lemon Ice Oreo. Blueberry Ice Cream Oreo is sold throughout Asia and Orange Ice Cream Oreo is popular in Thailand. I am not making this up.

Oreo Heads or Tails have white cream filling with a chocolate cookie on one side and a Golden Oreo on the other. Creamsicle Oreo’s have orange cream filling between two vanilla wafers cookies.

The DQ has an Oreo Blizzard and the Double Stuf Oreo line features Cool Mint Crème, Banana Split and Berry Burst. In South America they have Dulce de leche Oreo and to celebrate the 100th birthday of the Oreo cookie a few years ago they sold a limited edition Birthday Cake Oreo which was a vanilla cookie sandwich dipped in fudge and colored sprinkles.

They have in the past sold Watermelon Oreo’s and now they market Mini-Oreo’s in a bag for that Oreo fix on the go. The Expo even featured a Big Giant-Mega Tri-colored Triple Stuf Oreo filled with Wasabi Cream and Mango Salsa prototype due to hit test markets in June 2015.

As you can see, the list goes on and on, but just give me a glass of milk and some cookies and I’m a happy Oreo camper.

If you want to experiment on your own with the Oreo cookie, give these a try and make sure to catch the video and slideshow for some highlights of the Oreo-Con Lollipop-alooza Expo.

Oreo Balls

1 Pkg. Regular Oreos, Crushed

8 Oz. Cream Cheese, Softened

24 Oz. White Chocolate Bark

24 Oz. Chocolate Bark

Throw the Oreo’s and cream cheese in a food processor and pulse until combined. Roll into golf-ball size portions and chill for an hour.

Melt the white bark in a double boiler and stick toothpicks in each Oreo ball. Dip the balls in the white chocolate and allow to harden on wax paper. Later melt the white and chocolate bark and drizzle each ball.

Gotta have my Oreo’s everybody.