Schools, teachers, parents, bullies, standardized testing; the list goes on with relevant concerns, opinions and probably some emergencies. In a recent CNN article from renowned educator Ron Clark, the topic of parent teacher conferences was addressed. Mr. Clark courageously exposed some of the crucial gaps that need to be closed for the success of our children – both in and out of school.
First, teachers are trained professionals who can often see students in a much more objective light than parents can. For this reason, the advice and concerns teachers express to parents are just that – well meaning, educated observations that are highly accurate. Teachers are not out to get children. They are not looking for opportunities to punish, chastise or penalize students “for no reason”. Most parents readily take the advice of a doctor or pharmacist when it comes to their children’s physical well-being, but the teacher is often questioned. Somehow explanations from teachers seem to hold less value. I have encountered many parents who immediately take a defensive stance and assume that their child is somehow being mistreated or misunderstood. 99% of the time the parents are simply wrong.
Of course, parents love their children. They mean well. However, when they take the unnecessary role of protecting their children from consequences and take “sides” against the school, they create a climate of distrust and do a great disservice to their children.
Life is full of consequences. Young people must be allowed to experience the power of personal responsibility culminating in both positive and negative results. It is perfectly okay to make mistakes; that is the normal process of learning decision making and coping skills. When parents run interference and rescue children, regardless of intent, they are robbing them of important life lessons. Children become confused, indifferent and/or uncooperative. None of these are conducive to education or success in the work world later on.
Schools and parents simply must be partners. We have a mutual goal of giving our youth the best education possible. In so doing, we have to allow the teachers to be the teachers as we allow doctors to be doctors, police officers to be police officers and chefs to be chefs.
Are there bad apples in education? Of course there are, right here in Tennessee, but no more than any other profession. Are there times in life to question authority? Absolutely. However, for the purposes of this article, I am speaking to the educational best interest created by the partnership between families and schools. When there are unusual or extreme circumstances that deeply concern you, by all means meet with the teacher, principal or other employee in question, but don’t immediately assume the worst. Here’s a shocker – students do not always tell the truth! Believe it or not, sometimes my (and your) middle schoolers will twist the truth or blatantly lie about something that happened at school - for many different reasons. When you buy in, you deeply diminish the trust necessary to create quality education based on high expectations. You also undermine our character as caring professionals who have dedicated our lives to a career in public service.
Parents might consider this: If you believe everything your children tell you about what happens at school, then you should hear what they tell us happens in your home!!
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