The holidays can be magical but also overwhelming for little ones

credit: Alicia Bayer

 

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Kids getting wired on the Holiday Frenzy?  The holidays upset so many routines and add so much mayhem, sugar, anticipation, company and chaos that little ones can turn into Gremlins this time of year.  It's a magical time but it's also an overwhelming one.

Here's some ways to slow down, keep kids on their best behavior and make things easier on everybody.

* Keep routines.  Even if you're out of town or hosting company, try to maintain as many predictable events as possible. Kids thrive on order and predictability. Do your bedtime routine just the same at the grandparents, for example. Try to keep the same bedtimes, nap times and dinner times. If you usually have a little cuddle and a book in the afternoon it's especially important to keep that up now.

* Retreat someplace quiet with your child if the noise level is getting too loud. Before the meltdown, keep an eye on your toddler's cues and take her upstairs to have a little one-on-one quiet time in bed, for example. Good activities to lower the stress level are reading, cuddling and talking. You can use this on older kids by tailoring it a little. For example, plan a long "girls' time" with your daughter for you to fix each other's hair and get dolled up just before a party. It's an excuse to give her some personal time with you and get you both calm in a neat way.

* Be aware of the surroundings and use them to help you help your child. You may not notice how loud, bright and hectic your house is getting but your child will sure react to it. You can keep things festive and still turn down the intensity by putting on soothing holiday music, dimming the lights to see the tree, encouraging a quiet game that will get the little ones sitting, etc.

* Give them room to run. Schedule plenty of breaks for the kids to be kids. If you're taking them to long church services or expecting perfect behavior for entire evenings at Great Aunt Hilda's, give them plenty of breaks to get their wiggles out and express themselves. Preschool teachers plan for no more than 20 minutes of any sit-down or quiet activity at a time, and that's for 3 and 4 year olds. Don't have unrealistic expectations and be sure there's a back door you can discreetly slip out with them.

* Make time for them. No matter how busy we are, the biggest part of this season should be sharing it with our kids. Women especially seem to be taking on more and more responsibilities at the holidays. Don't be suckered into that Martha Stewart scene. Get take-out and go play with your family.

* Talk to them. Tell them beforehand what sort of behavior you'd like and even consider practicing, in fun. Explain what will be going on and how you'd like them to be, nicely. If you have a stressful family outing, confide in your child that you're a little nervous and ask her to help you by (fill in the blank). So many parents yell after the fact when kids aren't set up to know what they're expected to do or why. If you treat them with respect, they're a lot more likely to do the same.

* Put it in perspective. The holidays are about family, faith, fun and how much we love each other. Cut them some slack and have fun with them. If Great Aunt Hilda disapproves that they giggle and hang spoons on their noses at supper, it'll be okay, really.  It's good to expect manners, but remember they are children and it's okay if they act like children.

* Set a good example. If you get stressed and manic at the holidays they're going to too!  Have fun!