According to Dr. Ross Greene, a pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, teens who "wanna" behave well but can't have instructional issues - they have not been taught enough or practiced enough to make the skills of flexibility, adaptability, frustration tolerance and conflict resolution their own.
Explosive behavior occurs in teens when the demands of the environment exceed their capacity to respond adaptively. Many popular explanations for explosive behavior place blame on the kid-- or his parents. In Collaborative Problem Solving it is believed that if a teen had the skills to exhibit adaptive behavior, he wouldn't be exhibiting explosive behavior.
If you believe your teen is being reactive because of lagging skills and unresolved problems, then rewarding and punishing may not be the ideal approach. Solving those problems and teaching those skills would make better sense. In this situation, the definition of good parenting is being responsive to your particular child's needs.
Here is a list of video tutorials explaining his new approach to working with oppositional-defiant behavior in teens. (just click on the highlighted titles below to watch the video)
1. Intro: Kids Do Well if They Can -- The most important premise of Collaborative Problem Solving is the belief that if kids could behave better they would.
2. What's Your Explanation? -- Your explanation for your teen's explosive behavior has major implications for how you respond and whether you'll try to help.
3. Three Options for Solving Problems -- There are three ways in which adults try to solve problems with reactive kids: Plan A (which is unilateral problem solving), Plan C (dropping the problem completely), and Plan B.
4. Plan B -- Tips on identifying the unresolved problems that are precipitating challenging episodes, and how to implement Plan B.
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