Have you been one of the parents that have read the new release Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn’t Work…and What Will? If not, you are missing out as the general consensus of the readers of this amazing book is “Where was this information when my kids were younger?” and “The atmosphere in our home has begun changing already!" Such incredible responses indeed!
Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author, has released a two-minute video about the book. View that video at http://www.namastepublishing.com/media-page-out-control.
It is Dr. Tsabary’s estimation that the key to raising a self-disciplined child should involve an intrinsic learning style; teaching them to really learn things for themselves because when we learn for ourselves, what we learn just comes naturally to us – without coaxing or discipline! If parents teach this method of self-discipline, instead of imposing the lesson upon their children, they will be better off in the long run!
The good doctor is not only an author but a clinical psychologist as well. He has learned that working with families that children learn best from consequences as opposed to punishment, which only seems to generate resentment. When a child is punished, they may follow the rules and fall in line, but their heart is not in it and the lesson may have to be repeated as a result.
The confusion comes in when parents confuse punishment/discipline with consequences. When parents iterate that they must give a consequence; this is an incongruous statement since consequences and discipline are opposite of one-another.
When there is a consequence, there is a natural flow that comes directly from the situation at hand. A parent does not have to “think up” a result to the situation; it is a natural cause and effect that produces an automatic result. This means that the situation is the teacher, not the parent. Parents will simply be their child’s guide, even considered an ally, instead of the enemy.
Those that intervene, whether they are a parent, teacher, coach, etc., are not giving a consequence, they are giving a punishment. This is what causes the resentment to build which can later lead to crisis.
Besides that, children become less responsible when they are not taught to act upon their own behalf. It is at this point that they may fall prey to the negative influence of friends and peers which may lead to further destruction.
Find out by reading this newest sensation, Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn’t Work…and What Will, just how you, as a parent, will be able to alleviate the destructive behavior before it begins by teaching life’s lessons with a less hands-on approach. If you find that Dr. Tsabary’s ideas work, your family will be better off for it, if not, you can always go back to your previous method with no harm, no foul. It’s all up to you!