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Palin's Lame Stream Media Solution

Palin reacting to a Gotcha' Moment
Palin reacting to a Gotcha' Momentgoogleimages

There are mannerisms and traits that identify certain people that never change, and it’s usually because they lack originality, imagination, and brains. Whether we say they are a “broken record” or “one trick pony”, the buzz-words, catch-phrases, or memes people use become predictable and boring. Republicans use “no new taxes” or “taxing the rich kills jobs” memes as the answer solving America’s economic woes, and although they are old and tired, they are reliable for stirring up the base as well as winding up teabaggers.

Sarah Palin, the winking epitome of stupid parrots her own reliable buzz-words that although “dumber than dirt,” are her customary response to any issue that pops into her pea-sized brain. She couldn’t resist wading into the Newt Gingrich controversy a couple of weeks ago over his comment that Paul Ryan’s Pathway to Prosperity was radical for eliminating Medicare in favor of a voucher scam that privatizes the wildly popular healthcare system. As usual, Palin’s advice and counsel to Gingrich, and indeed, all GOP presidential hopefuls was limited to her tired canard that drives intelligent people crazy for its fallaciousness and absurdity.

Palin was on Fox News coaching GOP presidential hopefuls to beware of the “leftist, lame-stream media” and their propensity of laying traps for Republicans with “gotcha” questions. It is telling that the most brilliant minds the right has to offer need coaching from the likes of Sarah Palin. Palin referred to a simple question Gingrich answered about the plan to eliminate Medicare.

Newt gave what is arguably an honest appraisal of Ryan’s plan, and has taken heat from the robotic Republicans for not praising Ryan for trying to kill seniors by eliminating their access decent healthcare. Gingrich back-peddled as fast as he could for saying the privatization scam was radical, and apologized to Ryan. He also asserted that video tape of his comment was a distortion; but Gingrich knows tape does not lie.

Palin took advantage of the incident to give sage advice to Newt and other Republican presidential hopefuls by telling them to beware of gotcha’ questions from the evil “lame-stream-media” meant to trip them up. Palin is still smarting over Katie Couric’s question during the 2008 presidential campaign about which newspapers and magazines she read. On its face, it seemed to be an easy question with no possible wrong answer, but instead of being truthful and telling Couric that she couldn’t read, Palin stammered and stumbled in a moment of severe brain-fade, and couldn’t come up with an answer and has never forgotten the gotcha moment.

Palin’s defect is that if the media doesn’t kiss her ass, she reverts to victim mode and claims the media is out to trick her, but the truth is, any question can trick a brainless moron. If the dim-wit from Wasilla was stumped trying to remember what newspaper she read, then any question is going to be a gotcha moment, and the lame-stream media will have a field day questioning the teabagging bimbo. In the spirit of goodwill, there are some gotcha questions that hapless Palin can research and practice ahead of time so she can overcome the lame-stream media and befuddle them for a change. It’s not that anyone wants to help poor pitiful Palin; we’re just sick of hearing her say “lame-stream media” and “gotcha questions.

On offer are questions Palin can bone-up on so the next interviewer doesn’t entrap her with gotcha questions. She can do research, find the answer, and get her brilliant husband and family to drill her in advance so her replies are second nature. Because Palin is a moron, we’ll start with a simple question first; “Ms. Palin, what is your name?” Should be reasonable and not intimidating right? How about, “Sarah, what gender are you?” She may stumble on that one, what with being a macho-hunter type and the tendency of standing up to urinate. But if all else fails, she can have Todd set up a webcam to record her tamponing herself…unless she goes old-school and just lets it flow.

The gotcha question Palin will really have to bone-up (wink, wink) on, is when did she realize she was pregnant with Trig. There’s the whole immaculate-conception thing, don’t ya know. She’ll have problems explaining how she went from no fetus to being in late third-trimester overnight, but being Sarah and having black-magic witchdoctors on staff doing their thing should help jog her feeble memory. If all else fails, she can just do a DNA test to prove she really was pregnant. But it seems like she’s must remember carrying some being in her uterus; what with being a bear-dog-mama creature and that whole bestiality thing. Either way, if she does her homework, practices answering those questions, she can avoid the lame-stream media’s gotcha moments and turn the tables on some poor deviant interviewer.

Intelligent folks are willing to go to any lengths to avoid ever hearing the Alaska-anaerobe say gotcha or lamestream media again, but hiding in a cave without outside communication is unacceptable. The “lame–stream-media can do one or two things to save the rest of America from ever hearing Palin speak again. They can stop covering the fool, or start questioning her like an adult. If she is going to behave like a spoiled moron, start asking her serious questions so all of America can see what a brainless petulance she really is. Shutting up Palin would be a patriotic endeavor and the media needs to start being patriotic; and intelligent.

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