Overcoming caregiver stress

Courtesy of Aging with Grace

The obvious first recommendation for overcoming caregiver stress, whether it is physical, emotional, or time limitations, is to take care of yourself. Caregivers hear this often. It is not a new idea. It’s just that caregivers don’t take time because they’re too busy to figure out what this means for them. Taking time to meet your needs has tremendous payoff in terms of your ability to deal with emotional stress. This means making sure you have adequate rest, nutrition, and exercise. More specifically it may be helpful to take time for one of the relaxation techniques such as yoga or mediation.

To successfully use any activity for stress reduction, however, one must plan and set up a specific realistic time when it can be done. Similarly, time away at an activity, which brings pleasure, must be planned. Whether the activity is  brief or an extended venture, it won’t happen by just saying you should do it. You must make a definite plan and follow through.

Develop a support system, that is a community of friends, relatives, and professionals who will be resources for you. Make a list of people:

• on whom you can rely on for specific tasks and assistance
• on whom you can share your feelings
• who can help with transportation
• who can stay with your loved one for a while
• with whom can you go out and have a good time
• to whom you can go when you need professional help.

To deal with emotions more specifically, you must become proactive so that the same emotional stress does not repeatedly wear you down. To deal with emotions more specifically, you must become proactive so that the same emotional stress does not repeatedly wear you down. Usually it is certain situations with an impaired loved one that are the trigger for upsetting emotional reactions. You won’t always be prepared and in control but being aware and planning ahead can help a lot.

There are also steps that are useful in understanding and dealing with your feelings.

1. Identify the feeling. You must first know what it is that you feel. Anxiety, anger, depression are qualitatively different and have different antecedents.
2. Admit that you have the feeling even though it is unpleasant and accept that it is yours.
3. Take a step back and gain some distance from the situation. Go to the next room. Take a walk.
4. Analyze. Use the time to figure out what triggers the feeling. What it is about a situation that makes you feel a certain way? How do you react? What does the situation mean to you?
5. Talk about your feelings with someone who you trust, or write them down to express them. Sometimes writing helps one to understand, and begins the problem solving process. Talk to a professional if you are getting overwhelmed.
6. Make a plan. Figure out what you can do differently when you recognize that feeling again. Make the plan very concrete. It’s like dieting. You can’t just say I’m going to start tomorrow. You have to know specifically what you will change and how.

Remember there must be a balance between your needs and those of your loved one. Be comfortable with your limits. This means accepting what you are realistically able to do. Remember to be a good caregiver and to go beyond caregiving, your life must continue and be meaningful.