Betrayal--it is by far one of the hardest, most hurtful things a person can go through in this life. Truth is, if someone hasn't betrayed you yet, keep living. Hey, they did it to Jesus… So, as a betrayer and a betrayee, I have come up with some steps that helped me get through the emotions I felt when I was betrayed.
Below are 7 steps to help you with the overwhelming feeling of betrayal. :
1. Take a step back and breathe. This might seem like a silly and unreasonable step, but in many cases, people end up dead or in jail because they reacted without thinking. Emotions can be very detrimental to yourself and others. Learn how to control your emotions and not let your emotions control you. Process the information, take a step back and breathe.
2. Look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself, though this feeling hurts, was it for my betterment? Did I need to rid this person out of my life anyway? Was this relationship benefiting both our well-beings or was it bringing us down? Was this person committed to being in my life for the rest of my life? You might find that in friendships as well as romantic relationships, in the end, you were better off without them.
3. What part did I play? This is a difficult step for most people to ask themselves. We are so much in a hurry to point the finger at the "accused." However, we almost always have something to do with every situation that we are in, whether it is good or bad.
4. Write down your feelings. The power that comes with writing down your thoughts and feelings is so liberating and therapeutic. Whatever happened, write it down. All of it. It is good for the present as well as for the future. When we are able to look back and see what we have experienced, it is easier for us to realize that we have been there before. Most importantly, we have made it through that situation, so that we, in turn, can be advisers and witnesses to others who might be going through a similar ordeal.
5. Forgive and show compassion. This is not for them, it is for you. One thing that you do not want is to carry around bitterness and resentment for the other person. You have to come to a place where you need to let it go. It happened. Stop thinking about what you could have done differently and think about what you can do now. The act of forgiveness as well as compassion will bring you closer to self.
6. Heal. Give yourself time to heal. Do things for yourself that you love. Start investing in yourself and the things that make you who you are. Join a club, volunteer, take some cooking classes, run a marathon. Whatever it is that will keep you looking forward to your own goals and plans, do it. Have some fun. Live.
7. What was the lesson learned? Everything that we encounter, everything that we do, that we don't do, there is a lesson for us to learn. Find the good in overcoming betrayal. What can you take from this experience and use for the betterment of yourself and those around you? Situations such as these are geared to make us stronger and wiser. We should see a little bit more clearly, so we will be prepared for whatever comes our way.
***Nashville has some wonderful spots that are sure to cheer you up when you are down. Head over to one of these places and leave all that burden in the past.
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