Outdoor adventures on the other side of the fence

One of the more awesome things you can make outside...

When I was little, I played outside, all the time. I remember running all over town with my little friends; we had nobody in particular to watch us, yet everybody kept an eye on us all at once. All the neighbors knew each other, and each other’s kids. There was a sense of freedom that only a very safe environment can bring. Now that I have children of my own, I shudder to think about all the things I did. Climbing under the bridge by the local pond before I could swim in the hope of finding treasure, purposely getting “lost” in the forest just outside of town, hiding for hours in a farm field, nothing was off limits. Our parents didn’t seem to worry, as long as we were back inside by dinnertime.

In spite of the fact that my memories are only partially reliable, I know there is a big difference between the freedom I had, and what my children are allowed today. I won’t even let them play in front of the house without supervision; there are too many cars, and what if they decide to wander off? I’d have no way of knowing in which direction they went. Also, we have access to too much information to rest easy when our children are out of sight. I don’t know if the world has become a more dangerous place, but it definitely has become a more informed place. Stories about child abductions, accidents, and the like, are all over the news every time you dare to turn on that big screen Television or surf the Internet.

When my children want to play outside, I tell them to stay in the backyard, unless we go somewhere together. The backyard is safe, I think; I can hear them, see them, there are no cars or large bodies of water. Unfortunately, my daughter Isabella is old and smart enough these days to work the gate, so every time she goes out, I have to deliver “the speech”. Don’t open the gate! I tell her, stay behind the house! I warn, I cajole, I threaten; even bribery is part of my routine these days. None of it helps, because when children hear a warning, their brains quickly translate it into a promise. “Don’t go there”, you tell them, but all they hear is: “By all means, go! It’s fun! You’ll never believe what excitement awaits at the bottom of the lake, not to speak of the middle of the intersection!”

Of course, we’ll have to let them go someday. Not to the bottom of the lake,
but into the world nonetheless. From the moment the cord is cut, we work on this; little by little we separate ourselves from our children. Luckily, while we are busy separating, our bond can grow stronger. As is the case with so many parenting issues, it is a precarious balance we are looking for, reminding us that parenting is a monumental task.

“If we were born as adults,” the Lubavitcher Rebbe wrote, “already prepared for the struggles of life, we would never experience the magic of childhood, the freedom to explore life with our eyes wide open, indiscriminately, unselectively. Childhood gives us the chance to soar through the sublime before we trudge through the mundane.”

As parents, we can learn from our kids as much, and maybe even more. When, truth be told, was the last time we “soared through the sublime?” Parenting, then, is anything but a one-way street. Maybe, while I am busy teaching my children the potential dangers at the other side of the fence, they can teach me about what else lies there.

For more info on safe outdoors play, visit Healthy Families,  or Go Play Outside, then find out what your child learns while playing outside at Family Ed.