By Steve Beseke, senior vice president, think2perform – http://think2perform.com.
There are many days when nearly everything goes wonderfully for me. I am acting on the opportunities that come up in my career and in my life-skills training business. When I just had a terrific day with my wife and daughter. Or, I just feel good about the resilient direction I am taking in life. I'm sure you've had great days like this, too, in your life.
Then, of course, there are those few moments where I don't always see the fabulous opportunities before me. I doubt my natural skills that have made me very humble success in life and career. Or, I am just having a bad hair day. We've all been there...
That's why - to stay healthy - I think all of us need to remember to not get too high when things are going our way. But also not go down the "black hole" when events or circumstances don't quite go our way.
The life skills’ takeaway: Too often many of us unfairly judge ourselves on the life actions that don't go so well. And forget to savor the moment when you are in the zone. For me, I think that is the reason I have to be careful on how I react to challenging situations. As you may have experienced, these challenging times can consume you and not let you stay on an even keel - even when your life is going just as you've hoped.
Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking about challenges too much rather than what truly is making me happy. I forget to ask myself, What can I truly control?” So I don't fall into too many of these life traps, I make a simple pledge each morning: No matter how the day goes, I like myself for who I am and the good person I try to be.
Sounds corny I know, but this helps keep me on a level playing field - not with others but myself. If I think too much about some circumstances out of my control, I will fall into the trap that many of you are also trying to avoid in your life.
That is why I believe:
All of Us Embrace the Resiliency Journey...
Every one of us has issues we deal with every day – great and small. No one is immune from life. The key is developing successful strategies to adapt and make changes to circumstances you might be dealing with today – and truly knowing yourself.
I don’t pretend to have answers to your particular issues or circumstances, except to say without finding ways to turn the page and determine your unique and life skills’ ways to adapt, it may take you much longer to succeed and feel good about yourself - again.
Whether it is at work or your personal activities, please think for a moment about one area of your life you’d like to improve over the next six months. I know it may be hard to pin down just one. Wow! For me, I have six or seven things I can’t wait for months to change.
But this will keep you on an even playing field and not be overwhelmed with those "moments" that come up good or not.
What I found through sometimes-painful experiences, is that taking on too much at once can mean setbacks in all areas. I have to set realistic expectations for myself. My physical disability, for example, makes me walk slower and be more careful - especially now that I am nearly 55 going on a body inside of 80 sometimes.
Because of my challenges walking sometimes, I periodically go splat on a sidewalk because I've accidentally tripped.
A Few Life Questions to Think Through...
Change is definitely inevitable in your life and career. When I was 30, I did not have to think so much about falling and my disability.
The following life questions may help identify the one most important factor in your life right now to highlight your life skills:
- What are my special talents you feel most proud of?
- How could you demonstrate better teamwork and compassion at work and home?
- What makes you the happiest in your personal life and work life?
- Where do you believe your personal strengths come from?
- What are you doing with your natural talents and abilities?
- What are “out-of-the-box” life actions you have not pursued yet?
- What are some things you like to do but have never tried?
- How does your passion and life’s work here at the association fit in with what you want to do for the rest of your career?
- What are the qualities you like most and least about yourself?
- How have you dealt with a life tragedy (e.g. job loss or a loved one’s death)?
- How has this tragedy affected your life’s outlook?
Lots of questions to think through…
Because you see, life is all about adapting and embracing change. Truly thinking about such life questions will help you stay resilient and realistic no matter what types of personal and professional life skills’ challenges come your way.
It also will help you know yourself better and be fulfilled at work and in life - without falling into too many of the traps I mentioned earlier. Being resilient has helped continue my life’s dreams and stay realistic. Using such life skills will help you understand yourself better, increase the effectiveness of handling changes in your life, and be increasingly fulfilled at work and in life.
All of Us Can Achieve…
After six months, I suggest you think through your chosen improvement area again. How are you doing? How is your life better in that specific aspect of your life? As you thoroughly act on your one situation, I know you’ll be better satisfied with your life and have the added resiliency to bounce back and embrace changes.
Answering the questions I posed earlier have helped me maintain my confidence levels, enabled me to see my personal vision to succeed, helped me create a successful plan for the future with actions that make a difference and truly have peace with myself. Most importantly, it has help me in most cases to stay not too high and not too low.
Because remember: We all have issues and challenges in life – great and small. It is how we use our life skills to bounce back from these situations that help us have the inner and outwardly richness all of us so truly deserve.
It is such a pleasure talking with you each week. As so many folks have worldwide, please let me know what types of resiliency topics you'd like me to discuss in the future.
Please also take a look at my life skills/resiliency e-books at http://resiliencyfirst.com. They offer much more of my advice on life and work.
I hope you are enjoying life today!