Like life experiences, dating disasters and new lows never stop evolving. Could it be that as humans we're degenerating? With the copious amounts of dating and relationship advice out there, you'd think we're headed upward on the dating evolutionary scale.
Here is a list of pet peeves and dating disasters as compiled over the years of discussing experiences with other singles in the market:
- The cheapskate. We've always recognized that some of us are generous or frugal-- but some are just plain cheap. I recently read a story from a lady in her 40's who was told by her date to bring herself a bottle of wine on a date. Now, we understand times are tight and we have to budget wisely, but a BYOB date is just tacky.
- The meal ticket. On the reverse side of the last point, there's those of us who only accept dates as a way to curb our hunger-- both male and female offenders are guilty of this. I've seen countless ads for men looking for "sugar mommas." Apparently, if you're young, attractive and like to mooch, there's always going to be some desperate party willing to take care of you.
- The texter avoidant. Now, I know we're advanced enough to have connections at our finger tips at all times. Cell phones are great tools-- but they can destroy real contact between people. Texting is sweet for a quick hello or to alert someone of any changes in plans when calling isn't available. If all of your communication (outside of being together) consists of adolescent instant messages, you have to wonder what the emotional maturity level is for the texter.
- The fake date invitation. This concept was unknown to me until last Valentine's Day. A guy at my work that's been flirting with me "invited" me to spend Cupid's day together (although, he asked me as a way of rejecting another coworkers invitation). I played along with it-- smiles and all-- until the day of the "date." My hair was done, my nails got a French manicure and my legs were shaved (hey, you never know). But my coworker clocked out and went home without any word of going out together. It has the same stench of being stood up for some reason.
- The unsolicited sexual advance. This can be an unexpected nude photo on your cell or sudden physical interest by your date when you're not ready. What's worse is when you in no way invite that kind of attention-- or even worse: you ask for the opposite and your date ignores your wishes. Recently, I was propositioned by someone on a dating site to be his sub. Even though my profile clearly stated at the very top: if you're looking for a hookup, please have enough respect to move on. Maybe I look like Anastasia Steele? Well, respect is another lost art of the dating scene it seems.
- The fade-away or "Houdini" breakup. I've coined the situation of a person "poof" disappearing on you without a trace as "pulling a Houdini." Although, the real deal is less entertaining and far less gratifying than watching a magician disappear before your eyes. Can we grow up and tell someone that they're not what we're looking for instead of this childish act of avoidance? My guess is the same people who pull this fade-away act are also guilty of brushing things under the rug if and when they'd actually be in a relationship. You're better off without them is all I can say.
- False advertising. If you've ever been on a dating site and thought your prospect was going to blow you away from their pictures, only to find out they did-- from how misleading it was, you've been bamboozled. It hurts to have high hopes wasted on false advertising. Why anyone would post pictures of themselves from decades ago when they were fifty pounds lighter is beyond me.
- Catfishing. This is another tangent of the previous point: when you create a false persona via cyber-space, you're nothing but a lying fraud. We have plenty of sharks (no pun intended) stealing our identity and hacking our personal information for our hearts to be stolen as well. Can we all just get a life and stop with the fake romances?
- Anonymous predators. Even worse than the previous two points is the shameful behavior of sexual predators who pose as "Christians" on dating sites to find new victims. It's another shame that in this day and age, a person can so foolishly invite someone into their home with the best intentions, only to have their trust betrayed. Please take this reality to always meet a complete stranger in a public place with your own transportation to go home as you wish.
Relationships are still being developed and romance isn't completely dead, but the above actions make us singles kind of sad. Especially if you've been through the wringer of a failed relationship and are trying to set a good example for your children to see the "right" way to handle a loving commitment.
Let the boys and girls who do the above waste their own time while the men and women who are evolved make healthy, meaningful relationships. They are out there. You'll just need a boatload of patience to get through the rocky waters until you meet your smooth sailing.
What are some of your worst nightmares, pet peeves or interesting stories you'd like to share about dating experiences? We'd love to hear from you!
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